Dare the Transformers
by The Cowgirl Bookworm
Summary: That's right! You can dare any Autobot or Decepticon to do anything! Leave your dares in reviews!
1. Chapter 1

Haley (Me! Ironhide's Mechanic): Hello and welcome! This is the first Transformers dare fanfiction for this fandom! You can torture your favorite Autobot or Decepticon or show them grace and let them torture each other!

Ratchet: I do not condone this!

Megatron: I do!

Optimus Prime: Why oh why did I make the rule never to harm humans?

Ironhide: I don't know Prime, torturing Megatron could be fun.

Optimus Prime: *Begns staring at Megatron really hard.*

Ratchet: If I were you Megatron I'd run. Knowing most of the people in this fandom hate you, well you're going to get your aft kicked.

Haley: Hey! Hey! Hey! No aft kicking until the reviewers say so! Put down the wrench Ratchet.

Ratchet: Fragging pit devil.

Bumblebee: They'd beter not touch my Sam. *Grabs Sam protectivly*

Optimus Prime: Oh Primus. You heard him no touching Sam.

Haley: Oh no. He's going to get his, but first I need three requests on what to do! Leave off your dares in reviews!


	2. Chapter 2

Haley (Me! Ironhide's Mechanic): Hello and welcome! I'm so glad that so many of you left reviews!

Megatron: I'm not...

Optimus: Neither am I...

Haley: That's just because you two are getting the brunt of the damage. Now here's our first dare. It's from dzeniibby!

**woohoo first reviewer :P anyway her are some of dah dares im gonna suggest: **

**1)get a Decepticon 2 kiss an autobot or vice versa,**

**2)get a decepticon/autobot to act like a sparkling for a day/week/whatever, **

**3)get the leaders to do something stupid(i dont have any ideas)**

Ratchet: Kiss one of them..... I think we'll hold off on that one.

Optimus: I don't feel like doing anything stupid.

Haley: You will do something stupid with Megsy right now!

Megatron: Megsy?

Haley: *Snaps Optimus into a pink princess dress and Megatron into a prince outfit* Now. PLAY!

Optimus: Oh, uh. Where oh where is my prince?

Megatron: There is no way... *wrench clangs off his head*

Haley: Thank you Ratchet, now PLAY!

Megatron: Here I am my dear! Now let me give you a kiss to free you from this curse. *The two regretfully kiss, Megatron seems to like it a bit to much*

Haley: *eye twitch* Okay, that was weird. Now, Starscream act like a sparkling!

Starscream: *Begins to hop around* Goo, goo. Gah, gah.

Optimus: Wow, he's really good at acting like a kid.

Starscream: Oh yeah, Megatron likes me to do this when we- *Starscreams head gets blown off*

Megatron: He never said anything. Got it?

Everyone: Yes!

Haley: *snaps fingers and revives Starscream*

Optimus: How can you do that without a piece of the Allspark?

Haley: Because I'm the author, I can do whatever I want. Now, our next batch of dares. It's from **goldenqueenofthecove**

**Megatron I dare you to let Starscream lead the Decepticons for a day. Unconditional, and he can do whatever he wants. Nothing better than a traitorous Starscream in the pic.**

Megatron: No! NoNoNoNoNONoNONOOOO! I will not let him lead my men!

Haley: You all signed this contract making you do whatever the reader asks. *Dangles contract in front of face* So do it!

Megatron: Fine, fine just see what happens when I get my men back. *Pouts while Starscream issues orders*

Starscream: First Barricade, I hate your voice so you can no longer talk. Second, Blackout your rotors make you look cool so give them to me!

Barricade: *mumblemumblemumble*

Blackout: *hands over rotors, looking much less badass now*

Starscream: And Frenzy your blue eyes look sweet give 'em up!

Optimus: Is he just going to do this the whole time?

Ironhide: Relax, just watch Megatron's circuts fry. It's a good way to pass the time.

****End Of The Day****

Starscream: Now! Let's plan what to do!

Megatron: Oh Starscream, guess what time of the day it is?

Starscream: AHHH! But I was just getting started!

Megatron: No excuses, now onto the Next dare. It's from **Screamer's just a Screamer**

**Okay okay, I dare ratchet to put on a female nurses outfit  
I dare Ironhide to paint himself completley pink  
I dare Megatron to praise Starscream ...like a lot  
I dare Megatron to admit he's a weak spineless fool(Add a little more creativity to this one)  
I dare Optimus and Megatron to sit down and have a family bonding time for 5 hours.  
I dare Bumblebee to hit Megatron in the head really hard  
I dare Ratchet to hit Megatron in the head really hard  
I dare Irohide to hit Megatron in the head really hard  
I dare Optimus to hit Megatron in the head really hard  
I dare Sam to hit Megatron in the head really hard  
I dare Starscream to hit Megatron in the head really hard**

**sorry lots of dares, but hey, it's worth it :)**

Haley: Oh yes! Megatron gets a Mega beatdown!

Ironihde: No! Anything but pink! Have mercy!

Haley: *waves contract of doom* Why did it have to be pink? WHY????

Ironihde: *Runs paintbrush with pink all over himself* Why, why why why?

Haley: *Snaps fingers, rain cloud comes and washes paint completely off* Problem solved! You're up Megsy and Optimus! Here go into this room and come back out in five hours.

Megatron: I wish you would stop calling me that.

Haley: Awww but you let Starscream call you that. I even have video want to see? *waves tape*

Megsy:*Shoots and misses at tape* You even put it in my sript listing! Damn you. *Enters room with Optimus*

***** 5 hours later *****

Optimus: *Comes walking back out*

Starscream: Where's Megatron? *Looks in room* He's dead!

Optimus: Of course, that's our family time. Kill each other.

Haley: *Revives Megatron* Sorry I hate him too but we need him for the rest of the dares. Now, admit you are a spineless weakling!

Megatron: Alright, I am a spineless, weakly, yellow-bellied fool who has no clue how to lead any person at all and frankly I'm suprised I haven't been admitted to an aslyum and Starscram is so much hotter, smarter and cooler than me.

Starscream: Do you mean it?

Megatron: No.

Everyone: *Begins punding the crap out of Megatron until there's only his helm left on the floor*

Haley: God dang it, can't we just keep him alive for more than two dares. *Revives Megsy*

Optimus: It would be better if her were dead. Anyway, here's the next dare. It's from** Ironhide FLY**

**Oh sweet!! Ok um... i dare ironhide to...uh... make out with bumblebee, oh yeah i went there.**

Haley: God no, please God no!

Ironihde: !$#% Y&#$YY#U Bumblebee &$%. *Leans over and kisses Bumblebee;s cheek* I'm going to kill her.

Bumblebee: Now that, oh Primus I can't believe we had to do that. Now the even we never will speak of again is over.

Megatron: What do you mean never speak of, I was recording it the whole time. This is so going on youtube.

Haley: *Smack Megatron and burns camera* Our next dare is from **cai-ann****  
**

**hm, make the leaders swap roles for a day (no killing or maming involed) and see how Megatron deals with the humans, and Prime deals with Starscream.**

Megatron: So I can't shoot anyone!!!

Optimus: Yes, I so need a break from Lennox!

* Nest Base *

Lennox: Opti- I mean Megatron I need you to take a look at this sheet. Oh and you have twenty meetings today.

Megatron: *Slams head into wall repeatedly*

* Decepticon Base *

Optimus: Starscream! Where's my energon martini? *Is promptly handed drink with umbrella in it* Ah, this is the life. Now, where's that next dare. Oh! Here it is it's from **Frenzi99**

**I dare Ratchet to stay in the same room for a week with:  
Sideswipe and Sunstreaker  
Mudflap and Skidz  
= Hope he is able to handle their pranks! Or not... XD**

**I dare Megatron to be Santa Claus (with costume + his reindeers((The Seekers!)) on Christmas.**

**That's for now... =D**

Haley: *Poofs everyone back to dare room* Ratchet, I have pity for you. *Send him into Medbay with the four Autobots*

Megatron: What in the world is Santa Claus? Or is it Santa Claws? Do I get to use my claws?

Haley: No! It's even better! You get to hand out presents to little children all over the world!

Starscream: What do me and my brothers get to do?

Haley: You get to pull him around.

*Megatron is painted with a Santa suit and Starscream and his brothers are painted like reindeer*

Haley: Now! Go spread joy and peace on earth!

Megatron: Why did I agree to this? Grrr... On Starscream and Blitzwing and I-forget-your-name! *Takes off into the sky*

Ratchet: *Comes back out* Let's see I lasted less than five minutes.

Haley: Where is everyone else?

Ratchet: Well, if they can reattach their limbs then they'll be back in a few years. The next dare is from **saberwolf34**

**I dare ironhide to make out with chromia in front of everybot and human.**

Chromia: No! No way am I making out with him!

Ironhide: *begins to tear up*

Haley: Don't worry 'Hide! I'll do it! *Promptly enters lip lock with Ironhide*

Megatron: What the Pit is going on here? Wait, where's my camera?

Haley: *Releases Ironhide, still cuddling next to him* Sorry Megsy, you're to late! Next dare is from **Kira Arteemis Ga'Hoole****  
**

**okay i dare Ironhide too spend time with Bumblebee.**

*Ironhide and Bumblebee head off*

Megatron: So why were you making out with him? *Head blows up*

Haley: Anyone want to ask any more questions?

*Ironhide walks in alone*

Sam: Where's Bumblebee?

Ironihde: I dropped him off in Arizona, he was obsessed with some town there that's named after him. Next dare is from **Moonlight black rose**

**I dare one of the autobots to cover Starscream in ice cream! :D  
**  
**I also dare Megaton to wear a jock strap :D**

Ratchet: Actually ice cream is a good way to aleviate pain. I'll do it! *Upends huge batch of vanilla Ice Cream over Starscream*

Starscream: Is Megatron going to lick it off me like- *Head gets blown off by a jockstrap wearing Megatron*

Haley: You guys are sick you know that. *Revives Starscream* Now! Here's a dare from **kali yugah**

**well well well what to do what to do? hm i know megsie has to sing barbie girl wearing a giant blond wig and pink dress. (ironhide your welcome to do his makeup if ya want;)  
ratchet you have to fix up all the deepticons (adds in a whiisper so only he could hear) make sure you find a way to change them into either femmes or sparklings! hehehe!**

Megsie: Wait! You not only changed my name in the script but now you aren't even spelling it right! *Gets shot in face by Ironihde*

Ironihde: Makeup's done!

Megatron: *Shoved on stage in a pink dress* Fragging humans.

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party_

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_I'm a blonde single girl in the fantasy world  
Dress me up, take your time, I'm your dollie  
You're my doll, rock and roll, feel the glamour and pain  
Kiss me here, touch me there, hanky-panky_

_You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours, oooh whoa_

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh_

_Make me walk, make me talk, do whatever you please  
I can act like a star, I can beg on my knees  
Come jump in, be my friend, let us do it again  
Hit the town, fool around, let's go party_

_You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours  
You can touch, you can play  
You can say I'm always yours_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh_

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_I'm a Barbie girl in the Barbie world  
Life in plastic, it's fantastic  
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere  
Imagination, life is your creation_

_Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, ha ha ha, yeah  
Come on, Barbie, let's go party, oooh, oooh_

Haley: I wonder why it says undress me everywhere? Now Ratchet fix those Decepticons! *Buzzsaw sounds*

Starry: I like my new name, do you think this paint job makes me look fat?

Itty Bitty Megsy: I kill you humans. *Gets picked up by Optimus*

Optimus: Aww, he's kind of cute when he's not ramming a sword in you from behind. *Megsy bites him* Why you little.. Ironhide shoot him! *Megst soon becomes a pile of ash on the floor* Next dare!

Ratchet: It's from **Tannerdarko**

**I dare Ironhide to do the waltz with Starscream! but if he's too chicken, you know I'll understand.**

Starry: Eww! No way am I waltzing with him! I don't like muscle guys!

Optimus: Shouldn't you turn him back into a mech Ratchet?

Ratchet: No, I think he likes being a femme.

Ironhide: No one likes me!

Haley: No! I do! I'll do it! *Begins to slow waltz with Ironhide ending with make out session*

Optimus: Thanks God Megatron isn't here with his camera.

Megatron: No, I'm here. Okay now zoom in.

Ratchet: Wait, you hired a film crew?

Megatron: Yeah, Michael Bay owes me. It's done! Yes I finally have blackmail over her! Take this deamon author. *He suddenly bursts into flame* AHHH! I"M ON FIRE! PUT ME OUT STARSCREAM, PUT ME OUT! *jumps in pool* Ahhhh, ohh. Wait the tape's gone! NOOOOOOO!!!!

Haley: You'll never get anyhting on me. Just admit it. Here's the next dare it's from **Clifjumpersfangirl**

**Frist off this is a great idea  
dare #1 I dare Prowl to do something fun.  
Dare #2 I dare Megaton to be nice to starscream for an entire week  
thats it untll i think of some more :)**

Prowl: But having fun is overrated.

Megatron: Go have fun now! Don't disobey her, I keep getting killed off.

*Prowl goes and shoots Megatron*

Prowl: WOW! That was FUN!

Megatron: Speak for yourself. Hey I am nice to Starscream!

Starscream: Yeah, especially when he picks me up and our lips touc- *head gets blown off*

Megatron: I hate him.

Haley: Well, that's the end of this episode. I'm going to put a little restriction on this and have you only put up two dares for each review! Just getting a little overwhelmed here.

Megatron: So review!

Ironhide: Yeah, unless you're feeling lucky punks.


	3. Chapter 3

Haley (Me! Ironhide's Mechanic): Hello! Welcome to the second episode of our little show! Now, apparently some of you didn't get the fact that I put down onnly TWO Dares per review. I'll be a little lenient this time and just pick two out of the people that left multi dares.

Ratchet: And our first one is from **goautobots217 **

**ok, I dare ironhide to make out with starscream.  
I dare ratchet to hit himself upside the head with a wrench.  
I dare bumblebee to activate his haloform and french kiss sam.  
I dare ironhide to say I'm a weak **][we all know he's not, but it would be fun to hear.]  
I dare optimus to hand over leadership to the twins for 24 hrs.  
I dare the twins to tell ironhide he can't hit the broad side of a barn with his cannons.  
I dare sam to tell ironhide to use his cannons as popcorn poppers.  
I dare megatron to say I love autobots 4 ever.**

Haley: Since this was for chapter one we're going to do them all. Alright guys?

Ironhide: No, no way in the Pit am I making out with Starscream. And I am not a WEAK ASS!

Starscream: Yeah, the only one allowed to do that is Mega- *Head blows up*

Haley: You never let him finish a scentence do you?

Megatron: No, not when he's going to bring that up.

Bumblebee: I don't even need my holoform! *Picks up Sam and plants a big kiss on him*

Haley: *throws up*

Ratchet: Primus, well, here goes nothing. *Slams wrench upside head* Well, it wasn't that bad.

Optimus: You have a huge dent in your head. And for the good of the world, and mainly because they still haven't been reformed from Ratchet's tirade I will NOT be handing over leadership to the Twins.

Ironhide: I'm still willing to shoot them! *Pile of stray twin parts blow up*

Megsy: Damn it! My name is Megatron not Megsy!

Haley: Maybe if you obeyed the dare I would change it...

Megsy: Fine! I love Autobots forever!

Haley: There was that so hard?

Meggy: It's not Meggy either! Say it with me MEGA TRON!

Haley: Just read the next dare.

MEGA TRON: Alright, you're just being immature now. It's from **IloveBumbleBee2009**

**Best. Idea. Ever!XD**

**I dare Optimus and Megatron to tell the five things they like and/or admire about eachother. They hate eachother, so that'll be interesting.  
I dare Ratchet to change his Alt form to a pink jeep and the others to put Barbie ANYTHING on him. Then make him go around like that for a week.  
I dare Arcee to date the Con's that she hate's most.  
I dare Sammy to wear a very skimpy, very *girly* string bikini next time he goes to the beach/pool.  
I dare Optimus to let Ironaft use Megatron for target practice and other assorted 'activities'.  
I dare Bumblebee to kiss Arcee.  
I dare Ironhide to doggy-sit Mojo, WITHOUT his cannons.  
I dare Ratchet to change all the D-Cons into femme sparklings.**

**XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD  
This is gonna be fun!**

**~IloveBumbleBee2009**

Optimus: Fine, heres a list

1 His badass helm

2 Claws

3 Flying

4 Stupid

5 Easily embaressed

Megatron: You admire because I'm stupid and easily emabaressed?

Optimus: Yeah, see you're also easily tricked you just called yourself stupid and easily emabressed.

Megatron: Stupid Primes. Fine here's MY list.

1 Awesome paint job

2 Flames

3 Voice

4 Proud

5 Hard to kill

Optimus: Who doesn't love flames?

Ironhide: Die Megatron! *Proceeds to shoot while Sam runs around in a bikini*

Sam: RUN!!!

Ratchet: I hate you so much right now. *pouts in pink paint with I'm a Barbie girl painted on his head*

Starry: I back!!!

Megy: It not Megy! Megatron! I want MEGATRON!

Haley: Hehe, here's the next dare. It's from **Akito Megumi**

**HM let me think let me think ah  
Dare #1: I dare all the autobots and decepticons to dance to the song: Move Shake Drop Remix by DJ Laz, Flo Rida, Casely, Pitbull**

Everyone: *begins dancing and Megatron not so accidentaly steps on Haley*

Megatron: Yes! She's finally gone!

*Shard of Allspark falls on Haley and revives her*

Megatron: #$# %#^!

Haley: You know you can never get rid of me Megsy. Next dare!

Bumblebee: It's from **goldenqueenofthecove**

**OMG this is awesome  
#1 Okay for the next week Prowl has to act like Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, and vice versa.  
#2 Starscream has to weld Frenzy and Rumble's afts to the table.**

Prowl: I have no regard for rules. *takes two cookies when the sign says please take one*

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe: We are mindless robots. Let us have no fun at all. Next dare is from **Screamers just a Screamer **

**I dare Megatron to let Starscream say what he keeps trying to say without killing for the next two chapters.  
I dare Major Lennox to admit his undying love for megatron.**

Starscream: *Begins to speak in Cybertronian*

Haley: You didn't say what language it had to be and frankly, what he's saying is not fit to print.

All Transformers: *Purging systems. AKA Throwing up*

Lennox: But I don't love Megatron. Frankly he's a bitch.

Megatron: Am not.

Haley: Now, just say it so you can go back to your meetings or whatever. We have a ton more dares to get to.

Lennox: I love him! Next dare is from **Crystal Rosemary Witwicky**

**Awsome!**

**Now some dares... Hm...**

**1) Have Rachet quote Dr. McCoy from Star Trek: Original Series for a whole day.**

**2) Have Ironhide, Bee and the Twins (Sunny and Sides) act out scenes from any of the Star Wars movies for the week.**

**3) Have Starscream and Megatron glued to chairs and left to watch the 'Teletubbies' Marathon for a full 36 hours. (I AM EVIL!! GRIN)**

**4) Have Skids and Mudflap singing the song 'I know a song that'll get on your nerves' for a full day and no-one can tell them to be quiet.**

**5) Have Prowl do the song and moves to 'Walk like an Egyptian' in front of everyone whilst wearing a costume of Cleopatra.**

**6) Have Mirage and Wheeljack act as James Bond and 'Q' from the films for a week.**

**That's all for now but I may have some others up my sleeve or even from my sisters soon!! BWEG!!**

**Crystal**

Haley: I'm going to pick two, let's torture Megatron and Starscream and Prowl. He needs to lighten up.

Megatron: NO!! NOT THE TELETUBBIES HAVE MERCY!!!

Starscream: Please for the sake of Primus!

Optimus: *Shoves them into shairs and flips on TV* Humans can be so cruel sometimes, but its fun.

Prowl: I'm not coming out!

Haley: *Drags Prowl out in white Cleopatra dress, complete with eye makeup* Yes you are now sing!

Prowl: _All the old paintings on the tombs  
They do the sand dance dont you know  
If they move too quick (oh whey oh)  
Theyre falling down like a domino_

_All the bazaar men by the nile  
They got the money on a bet  
Gold crocodiles (oh whey oh)  
They snap their teeth on your cigarette_

_Foreign types with the hookah pipes say  
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh  
Walk like an egyptian_

_The blonde waitresses take their trays  
They spin around and they cross the floor  
Theyve got the moves (oh whey oh)  
You drop your drink then they bring you more_

_All the school kids so sick of books  
They like the punk and the metal band  
When the buzzer rings (oh whey oh)  
Theyre walking like an egyptian_

_All the kids in the marketplace say  
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh  
Walk like an egyptian_

_Slide your feet up the street bend your back  
Shift your arm then you pull it back  
Life is hard you know (oh whey oh)  
So strike a pose on a cadillac_

_If you want to find all the cops  
Theyre hanging out in the donut shop  
They sing and dance (oh whey oh)  
Spin the clubs cruise down the block_

_All the japanese with their yen  
The party boys call the kremlin  
And the chinese know (oh whey oh)  
They walk the line like egyptian_

_All the cops in the donut shop say  
Ay oh whey oh, ay oh whey oh  
Walk like an egyptian  
Walk like an egyptian_

Haley: AHHAHAHA! PROWL'S IN A DRSS!

Prowl: It is actually rather breezy.

Optimus: I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that and read the next dare. It's from **Blurr890Autobot**

**Dare 1: Have Skids and Megatron kiss eachother  
Dare 2: Have Prime dance around in a tutu and drinking coffee**

**P.S: This is so slaggin funny! ^^**

Skids: Yes! I'm back! Wait, kiss who?

Megatron: What is with you humans and mech on mech?

Haley: Aww, but you and Starscream have so much fun!

Megatron: *Kisses Skids*

Skids: *Self implodes*

Haley: Wow, you must be a terrible kisser if he just blew himself up.

Optimus: *Comes in wearing a pink tutu and carrying Starbucks* Okay Megy I got you a double whip no mocha mocha frappichino.

Megy: MY NAME IS NOT MEGY!

Optimus: Oh hey what's this? A fortune cookie? Oh, it's just the next dare from **beast wars master**

**I dare optimus prime/ironhide/jazz/sam to kiss another femme/girl infront of elita one/chromia/prowl/mikeala without the latter group knowing it's a dare.**

*Sam begins to make out with Chromia*

Mikaela: YOU ROTTEN SON OF A B$%#! YOUR'E CHEATING ON ME WITH CHROMIA! FORGET YOU! *Stalks off*

Sam: WAIT! WAIT IT WAS JUST A DARE!

Megatron: I got that on video.

Haley: I'm actually not going to destroy that tape, I'd watch it on youtube like fifty times.

Chromia: Next dare! It's from **Shilah!**

**Make Soundwave scream like a little girl somehow... :D or just make him rape more satellites.**

Soundwave: Hey! I do not rape satellites. They enjoy it.

Megatron: *Kicks him where no mech should be kicked*

Soundwave: OWWWWWWW! WHYWHWYWHWHYWHWHY?

Megatron: Next dare is from **Frenzi99**

**I Dare:**

**Sunny and Sides to prank on Megatron. Make sure it has a permanent effect! Will be put on the Youtube site for all to see.**

**Starscream and his whole flock to make an airshow for the humans (no killing humans). Humans use scorecards to vote who's the best and worst.**

**Will and Epps to paint paint Soundwave in white-red polka dots. NO Help from the Autobots. Help from other humans allowed. *Points to a certain hacker...***

**Wheelie to 'ride' on Megatron's leg...**

Haley: Let me see, these are too good to pass up. *Sneaks up with Lennox and Epps and begins to paint the sleeping Soundwave*

Maggie: Here put this on him. *Hands over glitter paint*

Soundwave: *Wakes up* OH MY PRIMUS! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE? I HATE POLKA DOTS!

Sunny: We already did the prank.

Sides: Yeah, it's pretty good.

Megatron: WHAT DID YOU DO?

Sunny: We put that video Haley had of you on Youtube. Over five million hits already.

*Starscream and Seekers fly over*

Ryan Seacrest: Welcome to Cybertronian Fliers! Now, Starscream. That was some wicked flying bro, let's see what the judges think.

Haley: I don't know, it was a little pitchy. Seriously, I think you popped my eardrum.

Megatron: You, I just want to squeeze your head off and keep it for a rearview window ornament. *Claps hands over head*

Optimus: I thought the whole thing was the biggest load of slag I have ever seen.

Megatron: WHEELIE! BAD BOY! NO HUMPING! IRONIHDE SHOOT HIM!

Ironhide: No, I'll just read the next dare. It's from **Clifjumpersfangirl**

**ok here we go again  
I dare Prowl to sing Supercallifragilisticexpialidocious with out offlining  
I dare Prowl to act like Homer Simpson for a hour  
I get my revenge Prowl my boy you shouldn't have said that fun was overrated**

Prowl: Why do they always pick on me? D'oh!

Haley: Just singer Homer.

Prowl: _When trying to express oneself, it's frankly quite absurd  
To leaf through lengthy lexicons, to find the perfect word.  
A little spontaneity keeps conversation keen  
You need to find a way to say precisely what you mean.  
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious  
Even though the sound of it is simply quite atrocious  
If you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious  
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious  
Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay  
Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay_

_(speaking) But it doesn't mean anything!_

_(speaking) It can mean precisely what you want it to!  
(singing) When stone-age men were chatting, simply grunting would suffice._

_Though if they'd heard this word, they might have used it once or twice._

_(speaking) That's right._

_I'm sure Egyptian pharaohs would have grasped it in a jiff.  
Then every single pyramid would bear this hieroglyph! Oh!  
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious  
Say it and wild animals would not seem so ferocious_

_Add some further flourishes, it's so_

_Ahhh_

_Ahhhh_

_Ah-ah-ah-ah._

_Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!  
Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay  
Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay  
Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay  
Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay_

_The Druids could have carved it on their mighty monoliths_

_The ancient Greeks, I'm certain, could have used it in their myths._

_I'm sure the Roman Empire only entered the abyss  
Because those Latin scholars never had a word like this!  
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!_

_If you say it softly, the effect can be hypnocious._

_Check your breath before you speak, in case it's halitotious_

_(speaking) Oh, Bert._

_Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!  
Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay  
Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay  
Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay  
Um diddle um diddle um diddle ay!_

_Of course, you can say it backwards, which is suoicodiliaipxecitsiligarfilacrepus._

_She may be tricky, but she's bloody good!_

_So when the cat has got your tongue, there's no need for dismay.  
Just summon up this word and then you've got a lot to say._

_Pick out those 18 consonants and 16 vowels as well  
And put them in an order, which is very hard to spell…_

_S-U-P-E-R_

_C-A-L-I-F_

_R-A-G-I-L_

_I-S-T-I-C-E-X-P-I-A-L-I-D-O-C-I-O-U-S!_

_(mutters) Clever clogs…Prowl: *Falls over from exhaustion*_

_S-U-P-E-R- C-A-L-I-F-R-A-G-I-L-I-S-T-I-C-E-X-P-I-A-L-I-D-O-C-I-O-U-S!  
S-U-P-E-R  
C-A-L-I-F  
R-A-G-I-L  
I-S-T-I-C-E-X-P-I-A-L-I-D-O-C-I-O-U-S!  
S-U-P-E-R  
C-A-L-I-F  
R-A-G-I-L  
I-S-T-I-C-E-X-P-I-A-L-I-D-O-C-I-O-U-S!_

_(speaking) Here we go!_

_(Singing) Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!  
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious  
If you say it loud enough, you'll always sound precocious  
Supercalifragilistic_

_Supercalifragilistic_

_Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!  
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!_

Haley: Next dare is from **thessan11**

**MOHAHAHA**

**I dare Ratchet too: Not throw/hit ANYTHING or ANYONE for a whole week XD**

**I Dare Ironhide to: Disable his own cannons and not use them in three whole battles (hope he doesn't get killed)**

**I also dare Sam and Mikaela to sing the song "anything you can do I can do better" XD**

Ironhide: MY BABIES ARE OFF LIMITS!

Ratchet: All right, no hitting.

Sam: SHE LEFT ME! WHY OH WHY DID SHE LEAVE?

Megatron: Because you kissed Chromia.

Sam: It was a figure of speech. Next dare is from **BornfromDarkness**

**Ratchet- make him sing Hakuna Matata from Lion King!! :3 i like this part...**

**Bumblebee- hmm... how about killing Sam? :3**

**he'll probably kill me for doing so XD lol but lets just try it! please?**

**Sunstreaker and Sideswipe- pranks on Megatron. (sounds fun) ^_^ want to see if they have the guts to do so**

**thats all i could think for now. ^_^ see ya soon!**

Ratchet: Does using my saw count as hitting?

Bumblebee: *Plays catch with Ironhide* Hey where's you find this squishy ball? *Opens hand* Oh PRIMUS! SAMMM!!!!

Ratchet: _Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase__Hakuna Matata! _

_Ain't no passing craze_

_It means no worries for the rest of your days_

_It's our problem-free philosophy_

_Hakuna Matata!_

_Hakuna Matata?_

_Yeah. It's our motto!_

_What's a motto?_

_Nothing. What's a-motto with you?_

_Those two words will solve all your problems_

_That's right. Take Pumbaa here  
_

_Why, when he was a young warthog...__When I was a young wart hog_

_Very nice_

_Thanks_

_He found his aroma lacked a certain appeal  
He could clear the savannah after every meal_

_I'm a sensitive soul though I seem thick-skinned  
And it hurt that my friends never stood downwind  
And oh, the shame __He was ashamed  
Thought of changin' my name __What's in a name?  
And I got downhearted __How did ya feel?  
__Everytime that I...__Hey! Pumbaa! Not in front of the kids!  
__Oh. Sorry__Hakuna Matata! What a wonderful phrase  
Hakuna Matata! Ain't no passing craze__It means no worries for the rest of your days__It's our problem-free philosophy  
Hakuna Matata!  
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!  
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!  
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna matata!  
Hakuna Matata! Hakuna--__It means no worries for the rest of your days__It's our problem-free philosophy  
Hakuna Matata!  
__I say "Hakuna"__I say "Matata"_

Ratchet: Hakuna Matata Bumblebee! No worries!

Bumblebee: But I killed him!

Haley: *Revies Sam* He's fine. Next dares from **Mr Crossover**

**NUMBER 1.I dare Megatron to sit and do nothing to defend himself while Starscream mercelessly beats him up for an entire 24hr day.**

**Number 2.I dare Arcee to makeout with Bumblebee**

**Number 3. I dare The Fallen to skydive without a parachut(that way he truly earn the title."The Fallen"**

Megatron: *Gets pummeled by Starscream*

Starscream: You know, this is just like when we- *head gets blown up*

Optimus: Sorry, I had to step in for my brother.

Arcee: Bumblebee, he is pretty cute. *Enters liplock with Bumblebee*

Bumblebee: *Gets flattened as Fallen falls on him* Get off me Gramps!

Arcee: Next dare is from **dzeniibby**

**good chapter :P i got a couple more dares dat jst came into my head.  
1)i dare megatron to make out wif trent deMarco  
2)i dare chromia to give megsy a lap dance XD  
3)i dare megzy to let sam kill him(soz i jst want megsy dead.)**

Haley: Oh boy, where's my camera. *flips on camcorder*

Megatron: *Kissing Trent while most of the Autobots purge their systems for the second time this day*

Chromia: Well, he is cuter than Ironhide *Begins to Lap dance*

Megatron: Oh, I'm in heaven. *Head gets blown up*

Sam: YEAH! Ten points! *Waves bazooka*

Starscream Next dare's from **PirateBot **

**Alrighty then,**

**I dare the autobots and decepticons to talk like pirates for the week.**

**I dare the them all to dress like pirates too!**

Haley: Yarr me hearties! 'Tis me! Yer faverite pirate author. *Dressed as Captain Jack*

Optimus: Aye, aye m'am! Haul on the mainstays! *Dressed as Norrington*

Ironhide: There be the brigands! Give fire and brimstone lads! Next dare 'tis from **TransformersLover95**

**hehe i love it... i dare the autobots and the decepitcons to sit down and talk about why there fighting without shooting anyone... or killing them... unless the a Evil Con...**

Haley: Now, I will be acting as a mediator for this meeting. Optimus, now what is it that Megatron did to make you so mad?

Optimus: *Reclining on threapists couch* Well, he killed our planet.

Megatron: No you did!

Optimus: It was your fault!

Megatron: Yours!

Optimus: *Shoots Megsy*

Haley: You aren't allowed to do shoot him!

Optimus: The dare said if it was an evil 'Con. All 'Cons are evil. Next dare is from **kali yugah**

**well i got to say lol! ok ok ok megsie you have to obey and serve sarah lennox whilst helping her out with the baby like a granny for a year! (i'm evil!)  
hmm this ones for sam, you have to parade around with the sign hanging on your neck saying... i'm the decepticon's **, punch me! lol. swiftly hides from bumblebee. see ya next review guys!**

Anabelle: Grandma Meggy why do you hate humans?

Grandma Meggy: *Bangs head into wall* IT'S NOT GRANDMA MEGGY!

Bumblebee: *Wearing a sign that says I'm the Decepticons bitch, Punch me!* Hey guys what's up?

Ironhide: I'm going to take this one step further than punching. *Shoots Bumblebee*

Bumblebee: Ah man! What the hell was that for? Wait! Who put this sign on me? Was it Grandma Meggy?

Grandma Meggy: NO PRIMUS! IT'S NOT GRANDMA MEGGY!

Optimus: Wimp, the next dare is from **Kikizehfox**

**I dare Chromia and Elita one to make out.**

**I dare ratchet to see how many wrenches he can throw at 'bots and 'cons and hit them in one minute.**

Chromia: Well, I guess we could experiment.

Elita: I don't see the hard in that. *Enters lip lock*

Optimus: Oh. My. Primus.

Sam: Wow.

Meggy: Dude.... It's NOT MEGGY!

Ratchet:*Proceeds to throw wrenches hitting twenty in ten seconds, fifty in thirty and a hundred in one miute*

Haley: I'm so glad that he won't hit me. Next dare is from **Tannerdarko**

**I dare the author to go a whole week without making out with anybody! muahahahaha!  
Then I dare Megatron to listen to all of The Only Gay Eskimo by Corky and the Juice Pigs**

Haley: No making out... not even with Ironhide?

Megatron: It said you can't make out with anybody!

Haley: Yeah but you have to go listen to that song.

Megatron: Damn it. *Puts on Ipod and listens to song*

Haley: Next dare is from **Prophet-of-worlds**

**Ello the names Prophet-of-Worlds gotta say I'm impressed this here is an awesome fic. Ok I got questions and dares if that is ok.**

**First a question Optimus *looks at Optimus and takes out pen and paper* can I have your autograph? Your my fave Transformer!**

**Ok now onto the dares, l3 fear my Decepticons oh yes and I sent the link to my friends as well so expect to get tortured. YO MEGALAME! *smiles evily* Hmm what to do to you? Gotta be original *thinks* oh I got the perfect thing *shrinks Megatron to human size* Now I'll just take away these weapons here *disables all weapons* Now for the fun part. *dials down a bunch of numbers* Yep come on over *thoasands of Auto-bot, Sam, Mikaela, and Lennox fans come storming in armed with bazooka's blood thristy* Ok guys there is Megatron have fun *smiles and laughs as Megatron gets hunted down by angry mob***

**Well I better stop here considering that was a long dare sorry but I could not resist. See ya Transformers till next time l3**

Haley: YES! FANGIRL FIGHT ON MEGSY!

Weaponless, human sized Megalame: Wait what? Megalame! That's even worse! *Gets drowned under hordes of fans, all that is left is one crimson optic*

Optimus: You know no matter times I see him killed it always gets funnier. I've already sent your autograph. Next dare is from **Sesamay-Sama **

**First off: I am laughing my a$$ off here! Prime in Pink XD Anyway here are my two: 1: Revived Jazz and have him shoot Megs in the cod piece. (I love Jazz!)  
2: Bumblebee snuggle with Jazz!  
~Sesamay**

Jazz: Yo' guys! Glad to be back! Now where's the Decepticon bitch that killed me?

Revived Megsy: Oh my head...

Jazz: *Shoots Megatron in the copiece*

Megatron: Why there? WHY?

Bumblebee: *Picks up and begins to cuddle Jazz* Oh yeah! The next dare is from **The Vampire Goddess Trelynne**

***Giggles* Gotta say i love it so far! Megsy is getting his worth! XDXD  
And here are my dares:  
1: Screamer sings I Feel Pretty while dancing  
2: Megsy gets dropped off at Yaoi-con for a full day  
Bye bye~ Good luck boys you'll need it**

Megatron: Even the reviewers! WHY DO YOU CALL ME MEGSY? What the heack is yaio-con?

Starscream: It's a celebration of mech on mech relationships. You'll love it.

Everyone: Gasp!

Megatron: What?

Haley: You didn't shoot him! This is like the first time you've never shot him!

Megatron: I'm just happy I don't have to suffer through him singing anymore. *Walks off*

Starscream:_ I feel pretty,  
Oh, so pretty,  
I feel pretty and witty and bright!  
And I pity  
Any girl who isn't me tonight._

_I feel charming,  
Oh, so charming  
It's alarming how charming I feel!  
And so pretty  
That I hardly can believe I'm real._

_See the pretty girl in that mirror there:  
Who can that attractive girl be?  
Such a pretty face,  
Such a pretty dress,  
Such a pretty smile,  
Such a pretty me!_

_I feel stunning  
And entrancing,  
Feel like running and dancing for joy,  
For I'm loved  
By a pretty wonderful boy!_

_Have you met my good friend Maria,  
The craziest girl on the block?  
You'll know her the minute you see her,  
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock._

_She thinks she's in love.  
She thinks she's in Spain.  
She isn't in love,  
She's merely insane._

_It must be the heat  
Or some rare disease,  
Or too much to eat  
Or maybe it's fleas._

_Keep away from her,  
Send for Chino!  
This is not the  
Maria we know!_

_Modest and pure,  
Polite and refined,  
Well-bred and mature  
And out of her mind!_

_I feel pretty,  
Oh, so pretty  
That the city should give me its key.  
A committee  
Should be organized to honor me._

_La la la la . . ._

_I feel dizzy,  
I feel sunny,  
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,  
And so pretty,  
Miss America can just resign!_

_La la la la . . ._

_See the pretty girl in that mirror there:_

_What mirror where?_

_Who can that attractive girl be?_

_Which? What? Where? Whom?_

_Such a pretty face,  
Such a pretty dress,  
Such a pretty smile,  
Such a pretty me!_

_Such a pretty me!_

_I feel stunning  
And entrancing,  
Feel like running and dancing for joy,  
For I'm loved  
By a pretty wondeI feel pretty,  
Oh, so pretty,  
I feel pretty and witty and bright!  
And I pity  
Any girl who isn't me tonight._

_I feel charming,  
Oh, so charming  
It's alarming how charming I feel!  
And so pretty  
That I hardly can believe I'm real._

_See the pretty girl in that mirror there:  
Who can that attractive girl be?  
Such a pretty face,  
Such a pretty dress,  
Such a pretty smile,  
Such a pretty me!_

_I feel stunning  
And entrancing,  
Feel like running and dancing for joy,  
For I'm loved  
By a pretty wonderful boy!_

_Have you met my good friend Maria,  
The craziest girl on the block?  
You'll know her the minute you see her,  
She's the one who is in an advanced state of shock._

_She thinks she's in love.  
She thinks she's in Spain.  
She isn't in love,  
She's merely insane._

_It must be the heat  
Or some rare disease,  
Or too much to eat  
Or maybe it's fleas._

_Keep away from her,  
Send for Chino!  
This is not the  
Maria we know!_

_Modest and pure,  
Polite and refined,  
Well-bred and mature  
And out of her mind!_

_I feel pretty,  
Oh, so pretty  
That the city should give me its key.  
A committee  
Should be organized to honor me._

_La la la la . . ._

_I feel dizzy,  
I feel sunny,  
I feel fizzy and funny and fine,  
And so pretty,  
Miss America can just resign!_

_La la la la . . ._

_See the pretty girl in that mirror there:_

_What mirror where?_

_Who can that attractive girl be?_

_Which? What? Where? Whom?_

_Such a pretty face,  
Such a pretty dress,  
Such a pretty smile,  
Such a pretty me!_

_Such a pretty me!_

_I feel stunning  
And entrancing,  
Feel like running and dancing for joy,  
For I'm loved  
By a pretty wonderful boy!_

Haley: Well, I guess you could call Megatron pretty. Say the next dare before I lose my sanity! *Jumps on Starscream trying to get him to stop singing*

Optimus: It's from **Kira Arteemis Ga'Hoole**

**Alright I dare Megatron to memorize Spirit's Of The Dead from Edgar Allan Poe. 2. I dare Optimus Prime memorize A Dream Within A Dream from Edgar Allan Poe. Oh one more thing both of you have to say it in front of everyone.  
Peace out everyone**

Megatron and Optimus: *Reads stories*

Optimus: Humans can be so depressing. Quick read another dare!

Ironhide: It's from **autobotleader101**

**i dare bumblebee and arcee to kiss and ironhide and my dad Optimus to put makeup on each other. then sam and megatron to bond.**

Bumblebee: I know we did it before but I would glady do it again! *Proceeds to make out with Arcee*

Optimus: Uh, Ironhide why are you pointing your cannons at me?

Ironhide: This is how I put make up on! WOAH! *Optics begin smoking*

Sam: You know, that was pretty fun Megsy. *Is cradled in Megatron's arms*

Megsy: You humans do know how to do somethings right.

Haley: MY EYES! MY POOR VIRGIN EYES!

Megatron: Well well well. Finally found a way to get to you, huh? The next dare is from **Aya-chan060**

**Hi hi! love teh fic!  
Dare one: Haley i dare you to kiss Prime~ On the lips~  
Dare two: Starscream i dare you to make out with Prowl (Sorry Prowl i gotta see that!)**

Haley: Yes! I get to break my no makeout dare! And he's my second favorite Transformer! *Leaps on Prime and proceeds to make out*

Prowl: Dear Primus.... *Begins to makeout with Starscream*

Megatron: Hey! LEAVE MY STARSCREAM ALONE! *Punches Prowl*

Barricade: The next dare is from **BumblebeeLover66  
**

**DARE ONE: Major Lennox! I dare you to tango with Epps  
DARE TWO: Prime i dare you to act like a valley girl for one full day!**

Epps: Sweet I always wanted to tango! *Begins to tango with Lennox*

Optimus: Oh my God. Are they like gay or somehting? Who cares! Like, the next dare is like from **RAWRI'MAJELLYFISHXP  
**

**YELLO THE NAME IS BRI! ^^ AND I AM HERE TO DO SOME SUPER AWESOME FANTASICAL DARES/TRUTH!**

**Ok First a truth for the big man! Yo Op what's up? WHY ISN'T PROWL WITH YOU MAN?! HE'S LIKE SUPER AWESOME WHY ISN'T HE ON EARTH HUH?! Teeheehee RAWR!**

**Now for the dare ok you guys ready for this one? I'm gonna teach you the most awesomest dance in the history of well dance! its called...THE JELLYFISH!! XDXDXDXD *spread feet apart by 1ft wiggles arms in front of body and screams* WO! NOW EVERYONE DO THE JELLYFISH! WO!**

**RAWR!...i'm a raptor! XD**

**RAWR!...i'm a giraffe teheehee well later skaters i best be going's see ya! Bri out!**

Optimus: Well like Prowl's a real hardass and he like didn't want to come just yet so.. yeah.

Everyone: *Proceeds to do the jellyfish*

Ratchet: This is pretty fun! WOOOO!

Megsy: Yeah! The next dare is from** AweseomAlexXD  
**

**hello and good tidings I am Alex and I am here to cause some pain. BOOYAH!**

**This Dare is for Lennox, since your like a great soldier and all I want you to do is go through a training exercise...but it isn't just any soldier training exercise. I'm talking Auto-bot soldier training exercise! Optimus must have you experience the same training as the other Auto-bots did! Let's see how you do with that! XD**

**Now a dare for Megatron! I want Megatron to be turned human and chug 3 BFC MONSTERS! But give me the cans I collect them! Good luck Megatron you'll need it l3 hehehehe**

Optimus: Autobot training consits of how many times you can avoid Ironhide's cannons, you ready Lennox?

Lennox: Wait what? *gets blown up*

Ironhide: Wow, even Bumblebee was able to avoid one. Serves him right for sitting in me.

Megatron: Ohygodhaveyouguystriedthisstuffit'swonderful!

Starscream: What is with him?

haley: I think he's hyper, here's your cans Alex. Next dare's from **Nadeshiko-chan**

**o this looks fun hmm now what to dare? OH oh I want to see who would win in a fight! Transformers vs. Twilight! I'm rooting for Transformers! XD**

I then want Megatron to dress up as Sailor Moon and sing "I'm an Ugly Girl". ^^ have fun Megsy baka-san! XP

Edward: Oh my God where's Bella?

Bella: AHH! I'm such a mary-sue and an antifeminist symbol! *Both get blown up*

Optimus: Thank yoe so much Megatron, I can't stand Twilight.

Megatron: *ignores Optimus and begins to sing_* Wanna go for a ride?  
sure Ken!  
well forget it!_

_I'm an ugly girl my face makes you hurl  
Sad I have it I should bag it  
Acne everywhere unwanted facial hair  
I'm a relation to frankenstein's creation_

_Ur so ugly u disgust me  
I'm a bland homly girl all alone in the world  
I'm as flat as a board, thin and lanky  
Your a dog and a troll were u hit by a train  
Don't go near u cuz ur breath is skanky  
Don't get touched I'm afraid cuz guys say I'm an eye sore (ooh ooh)_

_I'm an ugly girl my face makes you hurl  
Sad I have it I should bag it  
Acne everywhere unwanted facial hair  
I'm a relation to frankenstein's creation_

_Ur so ugly u disgust me (boo hoo hoo yea)  
Ur so ugly u disgust me ( ooo ooo ooo ooo)_

_O let's go out and have some fun  
I'm sorry but ur 2 damn ugly  
o screw u ken!_

Haley: What is with people and making him sing like a femme? Next dare's from **Mapleleaf07**

***is scared of Hide so reviews***

***smacks Ratchet* No hurting my Sides *growls***

**Anyway...**

**1. I dare Sunny and Sides to prank the President :D  
2. Megatron wasn't nice to Starry. Therefore, he needs 'punishment' *winks at Ratchet*  
3. Ooh... There's an advert of Bumblebee being sold on ebay at the bottom of Chapter two... I DARE BEE TO SELL HIMSELF ON EBAY. HIGHEST BIDDER WINS!**

Ratchet: *Hits megatron with a wrench*

Megatron: What the hell was that for?

Ratchet: That was punishment, it was either that or turn you into a femme again.

Megatron: Oh. I'll take a wrench anytime.

Optimus: Boys, the President is off limits.

Sunny: But we already did the prank.

Optimus: You did?

Sides: Yeah we sent Galloway to go bitch at him.

Bumblebee: *at giant computer with eBay up* Only three thousand! That's bull crap. I'm worth at least ten!

Optimus: Why would he want to sell himself?

Bumblebee: Damn pop-ups.

Megatron: The next dare is from **autobots1219**

**could you do a dare when um ironhide has to makeout with u it will be hilarious. and another dare you take ironhides cannons off for a month plz**

Optimus: What is with you humans and making out with mechs?

Ironhide: I don't know but I love it! *Enters liplock with Haley*

Bumblebee: YES! FIFTEEN THOUSAND!

Megatron: *Surfing Internet* And I'll raise it to twenty.

Bumblebee: TWENTY THOUSAND! WOO HOO! SORRY BIDS OVER! And I go to, Megyon. Wait, that looks like Megatron! NOOOOOOO!

Haley: You know, even though it's really sad that you would buy him, it's really funny.

Megatron: Humans have a sick sense of humor.

Optimus: Even though I hate you, I have to agree. Just take a look at the next dare from **The Pumpkin Guardian**

**LOL! This is great! I dare Megatron and Optimus to do a ballet together(Also known as a Pa De Deux which is normally done by two ballet dancers to express love in a performance. Look it up on Wikipedia if you need more info.)**

**And I also dare Ratchet To throw wrenches at all the people he hates! (Not the author please)**

**Thanks!**

Megatron: This is embaressing.

Optimus: Hey! I was already in a tutu today. *Performs ballet steps with Megsy*

Megsy: My name is not Megsy!

Haley: I changed it so Optimus wouldn't feel so weird doing a love ballet with his brother.

Megsy: So not for me?

Haley: Never, you're just fun to mess with.

I'm an idiot who keeps arguing with the author and is obviously trying to get myself killed off, otherwise known as Megatron: Wow, that's one long script listing.

Ratchet: *Throws wrenches at all the Decepticons, Wheelie and Sunny and Sides, oh, and the Twins* That ought to do it!

Optimus, Ironhide, and Haley: He likes us!

Ironhide: I'm really glad he didn't hit me, those things hurt. The next dare is from **SarahNicole98**

**Ok! This is cool! Mind if I make my version of it? *puppy eyes* Pwease?  
Bumblebee: create an super-sexy holoform and let fangirls swoon over you for a full day! Have fun! Oh, And I will be one of the fangirls.  
And Optimus Prime: Take the 'Bots on a vacay in the Bahamas, and leave SAm in charge of the base.  
Muahahahaha!**

Bumblebee: *Activates extremely _sexy _holoform*

Starscream: *Standing in front of dark and ominous cave with gate over it*

Megatron: Release the fangirls!

Bumblebee: *Immediatly gets body surfed with SarahNicole98*

Haley: *Poofs all the Autobots to the Bahamas* This is the life.

Optimus: Yeah, no paperwork, no meetings. Hope Sam's having fun.

*NEST Base*

Sam: Mom! Mom you ned to come get me, I'm scared.

Lennox: *Banging on door* Come on kid, it's just a four hour meeting with Galloway!

Jazz: Well, let's see. We got one more dare, it's from **rosewhip899**

**He he he he... I dare Megatron to prance around singing, "I'm a pretty pretty princess who loves all life and constantly gets a hard-on for Starscream.**

Haley: My god.. what have I done?

Optimus: It's not your fault, no one could anticipate this.

Ironhide: If you make out with me, I can try and get us so far away we won't be able to hear him. *Immediatly zooms off with Haley*

Optimus: Think of a happy place, a happy place....

Megatron: I'm a pretty pretty princes who loves all life and constantly gets a hard-on for Starscream.

Optimus: *Chases Megatron off* My happy place does not involve that!

*Meanwhile in a secret, not to mention soundproof, underground bunker*

Ironhide: Oh, Haley it's the readers.

Haley: Fine, let them in. Now, leave two dares in each of your reviews or.... I will personally send Megatron to your house and make him sing. ALL. DAY. LONG.


	4. Chapter 4

Haley (Me! Ironhide's Mechanic): Hello! Welcome to the third episode of our story! You guys have so many good ideas, and so many creepy ones.

Megatron: And you all seem to like to pick on me.

Haley: Aww Megsy, don't be so sad. Our first dare doesn't even include you!

Megatron: It doesn't?

Optimus: Thank Primus he isn't complaining about his nickname.

Haley: Optimus, shush. Don't let him know. No Megs, it's from **rosewhip889**

**ROTFLAMO I'm sorry; I couldn't resist. I made one of my friends do that when I was younger and it brought back memories.  
1) I dare Bumblebee to go goth for a day.  
2) I dare Optimus Prime to stop being so strict and allow the autobots to do whatever they want to do.**

**(P.S. nice chapter!)**

Megatron: Wow, you didn't lie. They must like me!

Bumblebee: Goth? As in black paint?

Haley: Yep! *Pulls out paint can of doom*

Bumblebee: *Pouts in new black paint with "I'm a preety Bee" written on his back*

Optimus: Stop being strict? Am I strict guys?

Ironhide: Unbelieveably so.

Bumblebee: Yeah, you wouldn't even let me play with car that one time.

Optimus: That was Galloway's car and he was inside it!

Bumblebee: I just wanted to shoot at it.

Haley: Optimus, stop being so strict. Read the next dare.

Optimus: I really hate that contract you made us sign, the next dare is from **The Vampire Goddess Trelynne**

**L.O.V.E.D. IT! ^_^ I have to say this is a treat to read, it must take some time to write it all up! Also: *ATTACK GLOMPS JAZZ'S HOLOFORM* THANK PRIMUS YOU ARE BACK!  
Dare One: Prowl, please beat Megys to scrap  
Dare Two: Bumblebee, snuggle with Sesamay-Sama! (Hope you dont mind Sesamay-Sama~)**

Prowl: Yes! Finally we get to have some actual fun! *Proceeds to beat Megs to scrap*

Bumblebee: Who is Sesamay-Sama?

Ironhide: I think she reviewed earlier.

Bumblebee: Oh well. Come here you! *Snuggles with Sesamay-Sama*

Haley: *Eyebrow twitch* Okay.... Next dare is from **Prophet-of-worlds**

***appears out of nowhere* hello again everyone. Yo Megalame how's it going? Listen Megalame I feel pretty bad about my dare so here *gives him invitation to a party*. Its a party in your honor all about you Megalame and its at a hot night club, its big too so you can go in your full form. Have fun!**

***whispers to everyone else when he leaves* What he doesn't know that its actually a place full of gay Mech's and humans who like him I told him he's single and looking for the right one. So we may either hear screams of pain or rage in about 5 seconds.**

**Ok next up it isn't a dare *hands Sam, Optimus, and Starry boy reviewer sheilds* these are anti yoai sheilds! You can use them 3 times and avoid yaoi dares of all kinds!**

**Well I better leave before Megalame tries to kill me for my dare oh yeah and no one else can use those reviwer sheilds besides the three i gave them too so don't even try to steal them *points at others* Ok see ya I'll be back with even worse ways to torture all of you next time, I'll even give you a hint I say you ALL start taking music lessons it'll be in your best interest. *smile evily and poofs***

Megatron: *Didn't hear second part of dare* Ohhh, how nice. A party for me! *Leaves*

*10 seconds later*

Megatron: NOOO! NO! I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT! *Comes running back in*

Sam: God, I am so happy for these ani-yoai shieds.

Starscream: Why do they thnk we're all gay?

Optimus: Some humans are so disturbing. Hopefully the next dare doesn't involde that. It's from **manic the hedeghog**

**hehehe, Megs at Y-Con now that i would like to see**

**ok before the dares /glomps Skidz/ my friend cospays you /glomps Mudflap/ i cosplay you =, our friends shout at us when we go into twin mode though... BUT WHO CARES YOUR BOTH MINTAGE AWSOME :) /glomps Bee/ i cosplay you too :) one of ym fave cospalys atm /smiles at fact that bee cosplay is now complete and that i get to cosplay him tomoz :) /thinks i chould probably point out that i cosplay human forms/**

**anyho the dares  
/based of megs still at y-con/ get megs to watch cosplayers of him and optimus making out somehow get optimus there to watch... have fan girls notice them... have fan girls make them make out too  
Jazz: i cried when you died your one of my fave characters so get your own back... make Megs suffer... in a funny way :)  
sunny and sides: you two are so cute me likes you and your pranks, but my dare is...um... for...sunny... live without a new paint job or any waxes or any other paint job keper nicers (lol keper nicers) for a whole 2 months :)**

**and thats all :)**

Jazz: *Begins to play the Lollipop song, the one from the Dell comercials*

Megs: Make it stop!!!! Hey it's not Megs!

Haley: *Plugging ears* Turn it up louder! Optimus, drag your brother to this cosplay coming up! *Shoves them out* Jazz, you can turn it off now.

Jazz: Roger.

Megatron: *Hearing him all the way from the Cosplay* No, no I am not gay!

Optimus: We've got more trouble than that! Fangirls at ten o' clock! *Comes running back in*

Haley: *Activates anti-fangirl shield* There, problem solved. The next dare is from **lexi2luv**

**I dare mikaela to flirt and kiss wheelie. then Optimus and Ratchet to hand over their jobs to a decepticon for 2 days. Hey! easy ratchet! shoots him in the no hit zone. thats more like it. bye!**

Mikaela: I can't believe you got me back in here with that jerk.

Haley: Oh, shut up. It was just a dare. Like I didn't catch you sucking face with Trent right after.

Mikaela: Hey! I didn't do a thing.

Haley: Yeah, you just gave his tongue a Jiffy Lube. That's nothing.

Mikaels: *Reviewing contract* Damn it, stupid author. Wheelie, you're oh so strong. Please, kiss me. *Lip lock with Wheelie*

Optimus: Alright, I'll give my job to Barricade.

Ratchet: And I'll give mine to Blackout.

Barricade: But I can't lead.

Blackout: And I can't fix anything.

Ratchet: *Looks up from magazine* Sure, what ever have fun.

Barricade: Damn Autobots. Let's hope the next dare is better. It's from **Mr Crossover**

**Its e again. with another kiss dare. AND FEW ANOTHER DARES**

**I dare all the the femmes to makeout Revenge Of The Fallen. DEVASTATOR. at his full size  
MAHAHAHAH. Now i dare Starscream. Megatron. and Optimus. to be in a cave full of rabid fangirls.  
Now again. I dare Bumblebbe and Sam to read the worst bumblebeeXsam slash stories to ever exist.  
I dare Unicron to eat the planet Venus.(what he does not know is that it is a very very ultra hot planet.)  
One more dare. I dare Megatron to be Ultra good and Optimus ULTRA Evil for one day  
Dare ya more next time**

Haley: Good Lord there are so many good dares, let's see.... definatly the fangirls one and I feel like torturing Bumblebee more.

Megatron: Why are there so many fangirls in this world?

Optimus: Who knows?

Haley: Yeah, but we got to keep the Autobot fangirls and the Decepticon fangirls away from the opposite factions and each other.

Starscream: Why?

Haley: Because they'll kill each other and the enemy of the faction they love. Plus then they'll turn on each other for what bot they want.

Megatron: I'm beginning to warm to these humans.

Ratchet: Into the cave everyone.

*20 minutes later*

Optimus: *emerges dragging bodies of Megatron and Starscream with a fangirl stuck to his head*

Ironhide: Wow, just, wow.

Haley: *Revives Megs and Starscream* God, that must have been one hell of a fight.

Megs: *Rubs head* Sure was. Damn fangirls. What's with them? *Points to sam and Bee who are alternatly screaming and sobbing uncrontolably in front of computer*

Haley: Slash fics, they mess with you. The next dare is from **13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13**

**So far so great.**

**Dare one: Ratchet I dare you to reformat the twins into acctual toaster.**

**Dare two: I dare megageek to steel said toasters proclaiming. "THIS ARE MY SHINIES, **"**

**Dare three: I then dare megageek to let Starscream shoot him, without shooting back, and then furiously drag the toasters back to Prime.**

**Dare four: I dare Soundwave to say "oh what fools these mortals be" while wearing a toga and aluminum foil 'wings'.**

Haley: TOASTERS!!!!!!

Megageek: What is with people and making fun of my name?

Optimus: More like what is with her and toasters?

Ratchet: *Holding two toasters* Skids, Mudflap say hello.

Toasters: *Eject toast*

Megatron: *Grabs toasters* THESE ARE MY SHNIES ASSHOLE!

Haley: Ok, recovered from my random moment. Somebody get those toasters back. The next dare is from **Kira Artemis Ga Hoole**

**Alright optimus and megatron are just done right bumass. Oh more thing optimus its Artemis not Arteemis. thank you. okay i dare Sideswipe to sing Souja Boy Crank That (Soulja Boy.  
peace out!**

Optimus: I seriously hope that she is an Autobot fangirl.

Megatron: Why?

Optimus: So she will kill you. Save a lot of time for me.

Sideswipe: The funny thing is, I actually like this song!

_Yooooouuuu!_

Soulja boy up in this Ohh  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank dat soulja boy  
Then super man dat Ohh  
Now watch me yooooouuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yooooouuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yooooouuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yooooouuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)

Soulja boy up in this Ohh  
Watch me lean and watch me rock  
Super man dat Ohh  
Then watch me crank dat robocop  
Super fresh, now watch me jock  
Jocking on them hataz man  
When i do dat soulja boy  
I lean to the left and crank dat thang  
(now yoooouuuuu!)  
I'm jocking on yo (jockin yo) And if we get the fightin  
Then i'm ... on yo (on yo)  
You could catch me at yo local party  
as i crank it everyday  
Hataz get mad cuz  
"i got me some bathin apes"

Soulja boy up in this Ohh  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank dat soulja boy  
Then super man dat Ohh  
Now watch me yoooouuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yoooouuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yoooouuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yoooouuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)

I'm bouncin on my tooooe  
Watch me super soak dat Ohh  
I'ma pass it to arab  
Then he gone crank it up fo show (show)  
Hataz wanna be me  
Soulja boy, i'm the man  
They be lookin at my neck  
Sayin its the rubberband man (man)  
Watch me do it (watch me do it)  
Dance (dance)  
Let get to it (let get to it)  
Nope, you can't do it like me  
dope, so don't do it like me  
Foe, i see you tryna do it like me  
Man that Dance was ugly

Soulja boy off in this Ohh  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank dat soulja boy  
Then super man dat Ohh  
Now watch me yooooouuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yooooouuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yooooouuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yooooouuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)

Im to fresh off in this Ohh  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank that roosavelt  
And super soak that Ohh Im to fresh naw watch me doo it  
Watch me shuffle  
Watch me Yoou  
Watch me crank my soulja boy  
Now Super man doo it [x3]

Soulja boy up in this Ohh  
Watch me crank it  
Watch me roll  
Watch me crank dat soulja boy  
Then super man dat Ohh  
Now watch me yoooouuuuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yoooouuuuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yoooouuuuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)  
Now watch me yoooouuuuuu!  
(crank dat soulja boy)

(yooooooouuuuuu!)

Ahhhhhhhh!

Haley: Interesting, disgusting. I have no other words.

Megatron: Primus, just.... Primus....

Ironhide: Ummm, the next dare is from **Devastator FTW**

**Me next!**

1. Have Soundwave tentacle-fun the 3 femmes XD Good on u, Soundwave!  
2. Have Demolisher say that he is Sideway's bestest buddy in teh whole universe XD  
And 3. Have Jazz prank-call the Fallen XD

Great series! Ur awesome! :)

Chromia: *In room with Soundwave* Stop it! That tickles!

Megatron: I'm just glad we don't have to watch it. *Bangs fists with Haley*

Haley: That's why I love being the author, you can do anything.

Jazz: *On phone* Is there a Ms. Walls there? How about a Mr. Walls? There are no walls there? Then how does your roof stay up?

Megatron: Wow, that's ancient.

Haley: Speak for yourself, I think you're like what, a million years old?

Megy: Why can't I kill you?

Haley: Because I'm the author. And our next dare is from **Crystal Rosemary Witwicky**

**I am Back and the funniness is about to comence! (Can't believe they did the Teletubbies dare - Smirks!)**

**Well here are two more dares - I can be so evil at times, one came from my sister Cdr_Harker.**

**1) Have all the Seekers dress as High School Cheerleaders and do a routine, including the cheering and be scored for it.**

**2) Have Bumblebee sing to Jazz and Arcee in front of everyone:  
"I love you,  
I really really do,  
I love you.  
I hope you love me too.  
I look into your eyes and I think your really great  
stick with me for a while and I'll always be your mate.  
You know I'll always be your mate.  
You know I love you,  
Your better than Ice Cream  
I love you, your a lovely, lovely dream!"**

**I am soo sorry to do this to both Jazz and 'Bee as they are my two favs but a dare is a dare, and just can't pass up the opportunity to see what happens.**

**'Never tickle a sleeping dragon, and stay out of dragon business as you are squishy and good with ketchup!'**

**Crystal**

Megatron and Starscream: NOO! NOT THE TELETUBBIES!! *Hide under chairs*

Optimus: That really did something to them...

Haley: *Shoves Starscream into cheerleader outfit* Get out there!

Starscream: But I don't want toooooo!

Haley: I can kill you off if you would rather have that.

Starscream: *Runs out* U-G-L-Y! YOU AIN'T GOT NO AIBI! YOU UGLY! YEAH, YEAH, YOU UGLY!!

Haley: *Hiding behind Barricade* You'd better not be talking about Megatron!

Megatron: You were talking about me! *Strangles Starscream*

*Spotlight shines on Bee*

Bumblebee: I hate having to do this....

_I love you,  
I really really do,  
I love you.  
I hope you love me too.  
I look into your eyes and I think your really great  
stick with me for a while and I'll always be your mate.  
You know I'll always be your mate.  
You know I love you,  
Your better than Ice Cream  
I love you, your a lovely, lovely dream!_

Jazz: Thanks, but uh, no thanks.

Arcee: BEE! I WUV YOU TOO!

Haley: Dear Gord stop the madness! We have another dare from **kali yugah**

**hello guys and dollz! it me again!! now down to business.  
megsie-pie you must dance and sing you sexy thing by the hot chocolate! lol i can op offlining!  
wheeljack you of course have to make the deceptibitches lives a misery by with the help of ratchet altering them so every day all day they hear nothing but barney and tellytubbies songs! also make sure bb is turned into a femme and the author gets put into a bird cage as megsie-pie's pet**

Megatron: Finally! Someone likes me mroe than the author! *Does dance*

Haley: *From giant bird cage* Oh shut up! You still have to sing.

Megatron: Damn it...

_I believe in miracles  
Where you from  
You sexy thing  
I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing_

Miracles right before my eyes  
You sexy thing got me hypnotised  
Don't stop what ya' doing  
What ya' doing to me  
My angel from above lying next to me  
How did ya' know that I'd be the one  
Been a long time coming only just begun  
Doing all the things that makes my heart sing  
Keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing

How did ya' know I needed you so badly  
How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly  
Yesterday I was one of a lonely people  
Now you're lying next to me  
Making love to me

I believe in miracles  
Where you from  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing  
I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing

Only yesterday I was on my own  
Just another day later my mind was blown  
You sexy thing come into my life  
Forever and a day it feels so right  
How did ya' know that I'd be the one  
Been a long time coming only just begun  
Doing all the things that makes my heart sing  
Keep doing what you're doing you sexy thing

How did ya' know I needed you so badly  
How did ya' know I gave my heart gladly  
Yesterday I was one of a lonely people  
Now you're lying next to me  
Making love to me

I believe in miracles  
Where you from  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing  
I believe in miracles  
Since you came along  
You sexy thing

Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Kiss me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

Touch me baby  
You sexy thing  
You sexy thing

You sexy thing

Haley: I'm going to pretend he's singing about me.

Starscream: Do you hear that?

Optimus: No.

Starscream: It's evil...

Beebee: You guys! You're so mean, you deserve what ever's happening to you guys.

Haley: Alright, screw this cage! *Poofs in Devastator*

Devastator: RAWR!! *Destroys cage and lets Haley down to the ground*

Haley: Thank you Devy, now our next dare is from **Clifjumpersfangirl**

**awe Prowlie i pick on you because I loves you and I can't do anything bad to Cliffjumper. its in his contract see *Cliffjumper smiles and holds up contract***

**i think I'll give prowl a break this time and  
dare Sideswipe and Sunstreaker to sing the Rt 66 song they also have to be painted like Lightning McQueen from the movie Cars  
and I Dare Bumbleebee and Arcce to got out on a date**

Arcee: OH BEE! YES I WILL!!

Bee: Gee, thanks guys. *Walks off*

Sunny: I kind of like my new paint job.

Sides and Sunny:

_Well if you ever plan to motor west  
Just take my way that's the highway that's the best  
Get your kicks on Route 66_

_Well it winds from Chicago to L.A.  
More than 2000 miles all the way  
Get your kicks on Route 66_

_Well goes from St. Louie down to Missouri  
Oklahoma City looks oh so pretty  
You'll see Amarillo and Gallup, New Mexico  
Flagstaff, Arizona don't forget Winona  
Kingman, Barstow, San Bernadino_

_Would you get hip to this kindly tip  
And go take that California trip  
Get your kicks on Route 66_

_Well goes from St. Louie down to Missouri  
Oklahoma city looks oh so pretty  
You'll see Amarillo and Gallup, New Mexico  
Flagstaff, Arizona don't forget Winona  
Kingman, Barstow, San Bernadino_

_Would you get hip to this kindly tip  
And go take that California trip  
Get your kicks on Route 66_

Haley: YAY! I love that song.

Optimus: It does have a nice ring to it, the next dare is from **Majorkami**

**Lol, great concept! On to the dares :P**

**1) I dare Bumblebee, Jazz, and Ratchet to do a tandem base jump off of Angel Falls (highest waterfall on earth at 3,212 ft tall).**

**2) I dare Ratchet to rebuild Ironhide's cannons into self-cooling beer kegs.**

**You're my fav Ratchet :D**

Bee: *walks back in* Base jumping! Cool! *Heads off with other bots*

Haley: Where's Arcee?

Ratchet: *Dripping water* I think she ditched Bee halfway throught their date.

Haley: Poor Bee.

Ironhide: *Wakes up from nap* Hey! What happened to my... beer!

Optimus: Okay, that was good. The next dare is from **SarahNicole98**

**Sweet! Thanks 4 doin my dares!  
Bumblebee: Sing that old Nursery song, ya know, "I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee, won't my moma be so proud of me?"**

Skids & Mudflap: Have a contest to see who can get Ironhide to kiss Haley first. Winner gets a dare pass!  
Starscream: look at megsy and you die!

Have fun guys!

Bee: Yay, there's a song about me!

I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee  
Won't my Mommy be surprised at me

I'm bringing home a baby bumblebee  
Ouch, he stung me

I'm squishing up a baby bumblebee  
Won't my Mommy be surprised at me

I'm squishing up a baby bumblebee  
Squish, squish, squish

I squished a baby bumblebee

Won't my Mommy be so proud of me!

Haley: Yay! Does that make you feel better?

Bee: No! They killed me.

Skids: Hey Haley, Ironhide sayd you're smoking hot!

Mudflap: *Punches Skids* He also thinks your'e incredibly smart!

Haley: Ironhide! *Lip lock with Ironhide*

Skids: I win!

Mudflap: No I do! *Proceeds to fight with Skids*

Megatron: Good God, the next dare is from **autobots1219**

**i hate megatron so i dare you to kill him everytime he threatens any of the autobots or humans**

Haley: Don't we do that already?

Megatron: You nasty little- *Blows up*

Optimus: YES!!! The next dare is from **Kikizehfox**

**Hi I'm back! these are so funny.  
So...  
1) Megsie, I dare you to admit your greatest fear, and then lay in a tank of whatever it is for an hour.  
2) Prowl x Jazz Yaoi. Because they are my favorite pairing ^^**

**Anyway, these stories are wonderful and great for a laugh. Keep it up!**

Megsie: Well, I'm scared of.... pirranhas.

Haley: Bring out the tank!

Megatron: Damn author. *Sits in tank*

Jazz: *Runs away*

Prowl: Wait for meeeee!

Optimus: I'll miss those two. The next dare is from **Tannerdarko**

**I'm back!  
Well first of all I think you're all being jerks to poor Megatron. I lurv him to death!  
secondly, I dare Starscream to make out with Optimus, and yes Optimus, we all do love you mechs making out with one another.  
and I dare Ratchet to stay calm when the twins are near you for an hour. Then by all means beat the ** outta them**

Megatron: Yes! She likes me!

Starscream: It can't be that bad. *Kisses Optimus*

Optimus: Get off me! *Slams sword through Starscream*

Haley: *Revives Starscream* How's Ratchet doing?

Everyone: *Looks at medbay door, screams of pain coming from inside*

Iromhdie: He'll get over it, the next dare is from **Mara-Chan2010**

**ahh you got Ironhide!! *cries* oh well *Snuggles Sideswipe*  
1. I dare Optimus to say "Bumblebee, I am your father." in Darth Vader's Voice.  
2. I dare Ratchet to sing "I won't say I'm in Love" from Hecules!**

**SO funny!**

Optimus: *Deep Vader voice* Bumblebee, I am your father.

Bumblebee: Really?

Optimus: No, now sing monkey boy!

Bumblebee:

_If there's a prize for rotten judgement  
I guess I've already won that  
No man is worth the aggravation  
That's ancient history, been there, done that!_

_Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'  
He's the Earth and heaven to you  
Try to keep it hidden  
Honey, we can see right through you  
Girl, ya can't conceal it  
We know how ya feel and  
Who you're thinking of_

_No chance, no way  
I won't say it, no, no_

_You swoon, you sigh  
why deny it, uh-oh_

_It's too cliche  
I won't say I'm in love_

_I thought my heart had learned its lesson  
It feels so good when you start out  
My head is screaming get a grip, girl  
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out  
Oh_

_You keep on denying  
Who you are and how you're feeling  
Baby, we're not buying  
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling  
Face it like a grown-up  
When ya gonna own up  
That ya got, got, got it bad_

_WRONG: No chance, now way  
I won't say it, no, no_

_Give up, give in  
Check the grin you're in love_

_This scene won't play,  
I won't say I'm in love_

_You're doin flips read our lips  
You're in love_

_You're way off base  
I won't say it  
Get off my case  
I won't say it_

_Girl, don't be proud  
It's O.K. you're in love_

_Oh  
At least out loud,  
I won't say I'm in love_

Haley: I love Hercules.

Megatron: I love him too, the next dare is from **MysteryFighter**

**Ok um... I dare Starscream to have a three way with all the mechs and femmes( ALL OF THEM! Im evil) and the next one is nobody can fight for a year**

*Sounds of clunking metal from other room which contains Starscream and Arcee*

Haley: Happy place... like the next dare from **The Pumpkin Guardian**

**Konnichiwa again! Happy to see me? No what dares shall I give you guys . . . ah I know!**

**1: Sideswipe-kun and Sunstreaker-kun, steal Ratchet's wrenches and throw them at him!**

**2: Starscream-kun, you have to make out with Prime.**

**3: Ironhide-kun, you have to dress up as a banana and sing the Peanut Butter Jelly time song.**

**Sayonara my friends!**

**-With love from, The Pumpkin Guardian :D**

Starscream: I get to do it again!

Optimus: Not unless you want to get killed.

Ratchet: *Gets hit with a wrench* Oww! Who thew that?

Haley: I don't know, maybe ot was Sunny and Sides.

Ratchet: COME HERE YOU SLAGGERS!

Starscream: I gope I get a good dare from **AwesomeAlexXD**

**ew! what is with human mech and all the yaoi going on here?! too much i say! anyway Megaeyesore i'm surprised you lived! they say three BFC's are suppose to kill you! And you lived oops I just revealed my plans to get you to kill yourself l3 no matter.**

**Anyway how should I torture you?...oh i know *forces all Con's into a room that no one or bot can get out of a single Tv is in the room* muhahahaha don't worry guys I'm sure you'll love...THE 100 HOUR LONG SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS MARATHON! *tv turns on and it has only that channel* hehe have fun you guys bet you they'll go insane oh yeah and they can't blow up the tv i made it indestructible and there is no plug! don't ask where i found such a tv. bye bye**

*Room with all 'Cons*

Megaeyesore: It doesn't die!!!! AND IT'S MEGATRON!

Starscream: Please Primus, have mercy!

*100 hundred hours later*

Megatron: Pineapple... *dissolves into laughter before offlining*

Haley: I actually like some episodes of that show. The next dare is from **Screamer's just a Screamer**

**OHMYGOD FINE...freaking loopholes...-_-  
I dare megatron to let starscream finish whatever he's going to say IN ENGLISH without blowing his head off.**

**I dare everyone to make bad puns out of eachothers names throughout the ENTIRE chapter.**

**...I mean it!**

**(These are NOT dares.)Megs you should die, for good -_-. Starscream you should defect to the Autobots :). And Unicron... yeah... you're just a moon. Primus is planet :) He's specialer.**

Starscream: I'm using my shield!

Haley: And I'm taking it a step further! We shall never know what he said, no more dares about that. It shall be one of life's great mysteries, like the secret to eternal life or how they make peanut butter.

Ironhide: Optimus needs to be an optimist!

Haley: God help me. The next dare is from **Frenzi99**

**Awesome stuff! Keep going! Ok, I'm going to be more creative, coz of the dares are mostly limited to 2 dares. Let's c...**

**Dare #1  
The Revenge of the Underlings: The Graffiti Fest**

**Starscream, Shockwave, and Soundwave open a Graffiti Convention.  
Free tons of paint cans (and paint trucks) for everyone! Humans, Decepticons, Autobots, and author do your worst! XD  
Can paint on which ever part of the body and paint any sort of graffiti (body art, tatoos, bizzare colors, feminine designs, p**n, etc.)**

**Paint Subjects: Megsy the 'Autocon', Galvatron, The Fallen, and Unicorn (plenty of space to paint! XP)  
All works and related art are to be posted on Deviant Art for all to see and comment.**

**Dare 2#:  
Let's Play a Game!: Transformer's Chess**

**Like in Harry Potter's wizard's chess, except the chess pieces are transformers that have been shrunk.**

**Black: Soundwave (King), Starscream (Queen), Skywarp & Thundercraker (Bishop), Blackout & Brawl (Knight), Frenzy & Ravage (Rook), Megsy the 'Autocon' (Pawn #1: must be killed/slain/sacrificed), The Fallen (Pawn #2), Galvatron (Pawn #3), Drones (rest of the pawns)**

**White: Optimus (King), Elita (Queen), Ironhide & Ratchet (Bishop), Jazz & Bumblebee (Knight), Sideswipe & Sunstreaker (Rook), Drones (Pawns)**

**Players are Prowl and Shockwave coz they're my fav strategists in Transformers from both sides. I'm gonna be nice on this dare coz Prowl usually gets the worst dares in this fic! So you better enjoy this dare Prowl! =D**

**PS: I put in the nickname of 'Autocon' for Megsy (just to ** him off :P). Though you could do the same for an Autobot by calling it a 'Deceptibot'.**

**Enjoy the dares!**

Megsy: YOUR'E DAMN RIGHT I'M PISSED OFF AT BEING CALLED AN AUTOCON! Wait, why do I have little bunnies drawn all over me?

Haley: *Finishing one last purple bunny* Because your'e in need of some color.

Bunny Boy: Why bunnies?

Haley: Theyr'e cute, unlike you.

Ironhide: *Doodling explosions all over the Fallen* This is fun. I could do it alllllll day.

Haley: Alright, now. Let's play some chess.

Prowl: Pawn 3 to E4.

Shockwave: Pawn 1 to F3.

Megatron: Oh come on! can't you see he's just going to-

Prowl: Pawn 3 take Pawn 1.

Megatron: Shit.

*Rest of the game progresses with entire black side being utterly destroyed*

Haley: That was awesome! I am in serious need of some violence. Let's see if there's any in our next dare from **garnettfox**

**hi im the legenardo and honerary autobot shedra. my alt from is a purple dragon.  
i dare the bayformers the met the transformers animated (also know as transformers heros or TFA)  
i dare both sets of optimus to make out with me... im my fic im with them  
TTFN ta ta for now ^.^  
(can i tear apart megabum in my dragon form as well? (any autobots can join in (teeth and claws only)**

Optimus: Primus, I looked terrible back then.

*Everyone looks at G1 bots*

Megatron: Why doesn't he have a helmet like mine? My helmet is cool, his looks like he has a dome head.

Bee: Man, am I glad that Michael bay redid us. I had no neck! Whoah! Optimus! PDA, man!

Haley: Avert your eyes, avert your eyes. Think of next dare from **Mapleleaf07**

***duct tapes Megsy's mouth* Now I have no issue with that XD**

**I know I've dared before, but THIS IS TOO DAMN FUNNY!**

**1. How come I never got to know how the prank went? *glares at Sunny and Sides*  
2. *enjoys looking at adverts for inspiration* The Autobots and Decepticon's holos have to try... HUMAN FOOD! *thunder clap in background* ^^**

Sunny: The prank went great, the video of Starscream calling Megatron "Megsy" had over 5 million hits on Youtube.

Megatron: Why you little... wait. Human food?

*Autobots and Decepticons project holoforms*

Haley: *Drooling over ironhide, Ratchet and Optimus*

Optimus: *Tenetivly bites into what looks like a chicken nugget* Wow, this is actaully good!

*Bots and 'Cons begin to stuff faces*

Haley: You do know those aren't chicken nuggets.

Starscream: Well then what are they?

Haley: Calf fries.

Megatron: What?

Haley: Breaded and deep fried bull testicles. (I'm not kidding about this, my Mom likes them)

Megatron: *Trying to throw up* That's just wrong!

Haley: You ate testicles! Ahahahahaa.

Optimus: Let's hope the next dare is better, and doesn't involve us eating animal's anatomy. It's from **KimTheKat**

**I dare Bumblebee to be left alone in the in Ironhides weaponary for 1 hour.  
Good Luck Solider! *salutes***

Bumblebee: *Walk off to Ironhide's weaponry*

Ironhide: And three... two... one.

Bumblebee: OWWWWWW!!!!

Ironhide: Man I love that security system.

Megatron: What does it do?

Ironhide: If you try and get in it shoots you in the face.

Haley: Oooookkkaaayyy. That's awesome. The next dare is from **Anime Fan Team**

**oh! I got some dares... well more like request but pweez do them! -goes into child chibi mode-**

**1: Optimus-sama... I cried really bad when you died... TT~TT It hurt so much... can I hugz joo? -holds out arms and puts puppy eye look-**

**2: Megatron... can you tell me about the way babies are born? Both as humans and Transformers?**

**3: Ratchet... is it possible to make a cheeseburger with energon?**

**4: I know I'm going to get hit for this... can Optimus-sama and Megatron do a cute scene similar to the quote in Brokeback Mountain when the dude says, "I don't know how I'm gonna quit you..." It's mostly my cuzn askin. XD**

**5: How about all the dead Decepticons and Autobots from both movies come back to life and do "Thriller"?**

**6: Optimus-sama... can a mech and a mech find love in each other? If so, what would you do if you see the person you love, either be human or transformer? (I got this idea from watching a video of Gackt-san!)**

**Okay that's it! Hope you do them. Me waits for your update!**

**-Lisa, Leader of Anime Fan Team**

Ratchet: Actually, Energon hamburgers are rather delicious.

Ironhide: Yeah but you purge your system like an hour later.

Optimus: Of course you can hug me!!

Haley: He likes getting hugged way to much, the next dare is from **OptimusPrimeLuva**

**Ok, I dare Meggy-poo to change his alt form to a V****olkswagen**** Bug and let Sam and Mikaela make out on top of him.  
I also dare Sideswipe and Sunstreaker to steal Ironhide's weapons and paint him pink with purple butterflies**

Sunny: *Expoldes*

Ironhide: No way are you two slaggers touching my cannons.

Haley: Meggy-poo? Why can't I think of stuff like that?

Meggy-poo: I can't believe the sick perverted minds that your kind posess. *Transforms into Bug*

Haley: You got to admit, it's funny though.

Sam: *Makes out with Mikaela all over Meggy-poo*

Meggy-poo: IT IS NOT MEGGY-POO!

Haley: Yeah whatever Megaloser. The next dare is from **TRANSFORMERS4EVA**

**I dare Starscream to marry Blackout and have Megsyface as maid of honour and Devastator as best man.**

**Barricade has to buy a Furby and keep it for a week without harming it or removing the batteries. (Ratchet, feel free to make it so it never shuts up)**

**(This is optional)  
I dare Megatron to sing 'Bumblebee' by to the Autobots. (If he doesn't obey, Ironhide can call him Mega-lame-slagging-piece-of-scrap-metal-tron)**

Haley: Do you, Starscream, take this mech to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Starscream: I do.

Haley: And do you, Barricade, take this mech to love and to cherish for all your life?

Barricade: I- *Blows up*

Mega-lame-slagging-piece-of-scrap-metal-tron: No mech on mech marriages here.

Starscream: Your'e evil!

Haley: Really you just noticed that? *Revives Barricade* Here, go play with your furby. The next dare is from **laureas**

**Wheeheehe! Okay, laureas here with a shout out to Haley,(Nice to be able to watch the insanity! And laugh laugh laugh.) and a shout to the Big Boss Bot. (not you Megajunker. Seriously its too bad they haven't put you in the trash compacter. Uh-oh I'm gonna hear about this one!) Anyway Optimus, I hope this evil little dare of mine makes up for all the Pit that Megadoubledork does. Alright Megdumbbell. I dare you to watch barney for two weeks. Then you gotta sing the Barney theme song untill every single one of the Decepticons have blown you apart, (even the Fallen) in order to save their CPU'. And the Autobots and author.(know I misspelled that, My Bad!) are allow to go where-ever they want to escape horrible Purple Dino theme song. Man am I nasty or what! Sorry this was so long a dare! I just wanted to have Megadrool blow up BEFORE the dare started!**

Haley: I think she insulted you more times than I have.

Megadoubledork: Humans are disgusting. *Goes to watch Barney*

Haley: Quick! To the farthest places away from here! *Gets the hell out of Dodge*

*2 weeks later*

Haley: Wow, just an arm left huh?

Optimus: Yep, same thing I would have done.

Haley: Ripped him limb from limb?

Optimus: Yeah, it would have been fun.

Haley: Great, remind me never to piss you off.

Optimus: Alright, now you readers. Yes you, and you there! Leave your dares in reviews!

Haley: Oh! AND VOTE IN THE POLL ON MY PROFILE!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

Haley (Me! Ironhide's Mechanic): Hello! Welcome to the fourth episode! Let the insantiy commence!

Optimus: Opps! We missed one for chapter three, it's from **FoxFirecard**

**Hey there!I'm nearly dieing with laughter here. I got two dares for you!**

**Un)Sam streks(sp?)infront of his high school shouting out "the monkeys are after me!"**

**Deux)All bots have to hold hands in a circle and play ring around the roise(hope I spelled that right)**

**Peace! =^-^=**

Sam: Streaking?

Haley: Oh yes, I am so going Old School with this. *Poofs Sam to jogging naked down a road, with no one following him*

Sam: Damn author.

All Transformers: *Holding hands* Ring around the rosie, pocket full of posie, ashes, ashes, and we all fall down! *Fall down*

Optimus: *Rips off Megatron's head*

*Choatic battle ensues*

Haley: Awesome! Okay, I got this on a PM. It's from **laureas**

**Hi, again. It's laureas, and I wanted to make sure I got these dares down before I forget 'em. So that's why I'm sendin' 'em now. Both are for Ironhide. Don't worry 'Hide, You're my second fave. Okay here goes. Ironhide, I dare you to play with kittens for a few hours. (and if Megfool tries to get it on camera, I suggest you blow up said camera and then shove pieces of same into his spark-casing!) and also talk like a gentlemech from the South. (please do that. I mean I grew u with G1 and I never did like the fact that 'Hide doesn't have his 'accent anymore.) 'sniff, whimper'**

Ironhide: Kittens! Would you care to join me m'am?

Haley: *Melts at southern manners and accent* Of course.

Megatron: What a wimp. *Blows up*

Haley: Look at this one! He has little white socks.

Ratchet: Wait, isn't Starscream allergic to dander?

Starscream: *Sneezing bullets*

Ratchet: Dear Primus, the next dare is from **Clifjumpersfangirl**

**that made my day Sunny and Sides you guys are my Favorite set of Twins I loves lots:) now it back to daring Prowl to do funny stuff  
1)I dare prowl to dance the chicken dance (i know I'm ebile)  
2) Cliffjumper could you please sing Luck be a Lady from Guys and Dolls *looks at him with puppy dog eyes***

Prowl: Why do humans find such enjoyment in the debasement of their peers?

Haley: Because it's hilarious! DANCE CHICKEN BOY!!

Prowl: Vile cretin... *Does chicken dance*

Cliffjumper: Awww, anything for you darlin'!

_They call you Lady Luck.  
But there is room for doubt  
At times you have a very unladylike way of running out  
You're this a date with me  
The pickings have been lush  
And yet before this evening is over you might give me the brush  
You might forget your manners  
You might refure to stay and So the best that I can to is pray._

_Luck be a lady tonight  
Luck be a lady tonight  
Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with  
Luck be a lady tonight._

_Luck let a gentleman see  
How nice a dame you can be  
I've seen the way you've treated other guys you've been with  
Luck be a lady with me._

_A lady doesn't leave her escort  
It isn't fair, it isn't nice  
A lady doesn't wander all over the room  
And blow on some other guy's dice.  
So let's keep the party polite  
Never get out of my sight  
Stick with me baby, I'm the fellow you came in with  
Luck be a lady  
Luck be a lady  
Luck be a lady tonight._

_Luck be a lady tonight.  
Luck be a lady tonight.  
Luck, if you've ever been a lady to begin with  
Luck be a lady tonight._

_Luck let a gentleman see_

_Luck let a gentleman see_

_How nice a dame you can be_

_How nice a dame you can be_

_I know the way you've treated other guys you've been with_

_Luck me a lady, a lady, be a lady with me._

_Luck be a lady with me_

_A Lady wouldn't flirt with strangers  
She'd have a heart, she'd have a soul  
A lady wouldn't make little snake eyes at me  
When I've got my life on this roll._

_Roll 'em, roll 'em, roll 'em, snake eyes  
Roll 'em, roll 'em, roll 'em!_

_So let's keep the party polite_

_Let's keep the party polite_

_Never get out of my sight  
Never get out of my sight.  
Stick here, baby, stick here, baby._

_Stick with me, baby, I'm the fellow you came in with  
Luck be a lady_

_Luck be a lady_

_Luck be a lady tonight._

_Coming out, coming out, coming out  
Right!  
_

Haley: Dear Lord. Need air!

Ironhide: That had to be one of the funniest things I 've ever seen.

Oprimus: The next dare is from **Screamer's just a Screamer**

**Alright... You win, I won't do that anymore, BUT I HAVE AN ANTI YAOI SHIELD RIFLE THING! But I'm not using it yet.**

**Anyway, I dare YOU the Author to make all the humans Mech-sized and all the mechs human-sized, and see how THEY feel about being tiny. That **'s intimidating!**

**And then the second one is... I dare the transformers to watch all three lord of the rings, and each of them act like the characters that match their personalities the greatest. With the acception of Sam taking over the role of Speagle(golem) and the twins taking over the roles of Pippin and Mary.**

Haley: Watch out Megs! *Stomps around trying to smush him*

Megatron: This sucks!

Ironhide: Hey quiet! The movie's about to start.

*After all the movies are done*

Optimus: Dear Primus, she expects us to emmulate those characters.

Ironhide: Yes, you would be Gandalf.

Optimus: Whatever Legolas.

Haley: Must... block out names... The next dare is from **Majorkami**

**Woot for the continuing chaos! May I suggest more dares?**

**1) I dare the whole crew to have a Dance Dance Revolution dance-off. Last 'bot standing wins this *points to shiny barrel of high-grade energon***

**2) I dare Sunstreaker and Starscream to switch bodies for an hour.**

Glen: YESSS!

Haley: I'll kick your ass you nerds.

*Epic battle of Dance Dance Revolution occurs*

Ratchet: I didn't know Starscream could move like that.

Starscream: I'm not Starscream, I'm Sunny.

Optimus: But then where's Starscream?

Sunny: I am.

Haley: Head.... hurts. The next dare is from **Mr Crossover**

**It is I. Mr Crossover. With More dares.  
You know how one of the readers dared The Decepticons to watch the teletubies.I AM GOING TO TAKE THAT DARE TO THE NEXT STEP. I DARE ALL THE DECEPTICONS(not megatron. i need him fore a another dare) TO TRANSPORTED INTO THE TELETUBIES TV SHOW FOR 24 HOURS. and they may not harm the  
another dare. I dare Megaklutz to sing "New Divide" by Linkin Park while acting as a bridge across a divide(get it) for a the transformers to cross.(including Devastator)  
aslo a dare Bumblebee and Arcee to have a sparkling( I just love those two together. ok"**

**Until next time. FEAR MY DARES. Mr Crossover**

Starscream: NO NO ANYTHING BUT THAT NOOOOO!!!!

Haley: Oh God, this is going to be great.

Megaklutz: Primus, this is terrible.

_I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me  
I remembered each flash as time began to blur  
Like a startling sign that fate had finally found me  
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve_

_So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean  
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes  
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between  
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide_

_There was nothing in sight but memories left abandoned  
There was nowhere to hide, the ashes fell like snow  
And the ground caved in between where we were standing  
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve_

_So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean  
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes across this new divide_

_In every loss, in every lie, in every truth that you'd deny  
And each regret and each goodbye was a mistake too great to hide  
And your voice was all I heard that I get what I deserve_

_So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean  
Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes  
Give me reason to fill this hole, connect the space between  
Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies across this new divide  
Across this new divide, across this new divide_

*Gets smashed by Devastator*

Haley: I will never get tired of seeing him killed.

Optimus: Me either.

Starscream: *Yelling from Teletubbies* GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!

Ironhide: You deserve it you Decepticon wretch! The next dare is from **rosewhip889**

**Oh **; I can't breathe!  
1) I dare Megatron to be locked in a room with the twins and they're allowed to pull WHATEVER prank they want to and Megatron CAN'T kill them. (luvs you Megatron; fave Decepticon)  
2) I dare all the transformers to refrain from trying to harm/kill Megatron.**

Sunny: Oh yes, oh yes.

Megatron: PLEASE HAVE MERCY!!! *Gets dragged into room*

Optimus: Not killing him? But isn't that the whole point of this franchise?

Ironhide: That and getting Sam and Mikaela married.

Haley: Well, let's wait and see how it turns out. In the meantime the next dare is from **dzeniibby**

**heres my dare: if mega-** wants peoplez 2 stop giving him stupid nicknames, then he will have to have robot-sex with starscream IN FRONT OF EVERYONE! he will also have to admit that he enjoyed it. mwahahahahah XD, P.S i just want to say "I LOVE YOU BLACKOUT!" :)**

Blackout: Another fangirl?

Haley: Let me guess, you already have an army.

Blackout: More like a country.

Megatron: *Fleeing from Twins* NO! No, nicknames are fine.

Optimus: I knew you would say that. The next dare is from **Ladyofthedrgns**

**-evil laugh- They Sideswipe and Sunstreaker have been avoiding me for over a month since i came up with this dare.**

**1: Sunny and Sides have to deal with the joys and trails of parenthood. Yes, from pregnacy all the way to collage. XD**

**2: Megsy gets to have Starscream's sparkling!**

Sunny: Awwww, ain't he cute. *Chucks little sparkling under chin*

Haley: This so wrong in so many ways.

Sides: Ooff. Sunny he needs a change.

Megatron: Oh here, I have to change mine anyway.

Haley: Must maintain sanity. Read next dare from **kali yugah**

**lolz hey hey mechs and femmes now i have a few dares for some of you and a few pressiez to. pressiez first!! to the autobots i give you anti fan girl sprays which last for 2 chappies, passes so there are no mech on mech action ;) and *brings hands forward and chants* the allspark! it will offline any con's that touch it! now to the dares. jazz your the best autobot so you get the best dare ... for the next 2 million years meggashithead will be you slave, order him what ever you want (make sure he restores cybertron), ironhide you have to paint yourself glittery pink whilst sing "my little pony", blurr come on into this story! you blurr have to sing call me when your sober by evanescence the best band ever *nukes anyone who says they're not and meggaasswipe you have to dance the chicken dance and sing "i'm a little teapot!"  
bye bye mechs and femmes and just remember ...  
JAZZ FOR THE NEXT PRIME!**

Optimus: *Examining spray* Dear Primus, that one is a saint.

Jazz: Lower, I said lower slag head!

Megatron: *Rubbing Jazz's feet* Yes master.

Jazz: Now, dance and sing for my entertainment.

Megatron: *Doing chicken dance*

_I'm a little teapot, short and stout  
Here is my handle, here is my spout  
When I start to whistle pick me up  
Tip me over and pour me out!_

Haley: *Puts away camcorder* This day will live in infamy. The next dare is from **Kira Artemis Ga Hoole**

**Okay i forgive you Optimus. But I don't know about Meagtron. And yes Iam a fangirl of the autobots. Meagtron in return you must kiss starscream and make out with him.  
peace out!**

Megatron: *Kissing passionatly with Starscream*

Haley: MY EYES! MY POOR VIRGIN EYES! IT BURNS, IT BURNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSS!!!!!

Barricade: *Puts gun to temple and shoots himself, but magic author keeps him alive* Damn it.

Optimus: *Hand in front of face* READ THE NEXT DARE SO WE CAN GET THIS OVER!!

Ironhide: *Staring down barrel of gun* It's from **SarahNicole98****  
**

**Hahaha! So funny! Ok...dares:  
Bee: I luvs yous so I go easy on u. Have a completely normal conversation with a fangirl (Me) about how awesome you are. When the fangirl (me) cracks and hugs you, you must sing "Let me go" by Three Doors Down (i think that's who sings it...)to her  
Barricade: play Streetfighter 4 with Jazz. Whoever wins gets a dare pass. If you loose, you have to kiss my OC Cami Jones (CJ)  
Ok, Thats all I got. Update soon!**

Bee: So, what has enticed you to me instead of say, Optimus.

SarahNicole: Well, your'e just awesome, and awesome. *Hugs Bee*

Bee: _One more kiss could be the best thing  
But one more lie could be the worst  
And all these thoughts are never resting  
And you're not something I deserve_

_In my head there's only you now  
This world falls on me  
In this world there's real and make believe  
And this seems real to me_

_You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
And you love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Let me go_

_I dream ahead to what I hope for  
And I turn my back on loving you  
How can this love be a good thing  
When I know what I'm goin through_

_In my head there's only you now  
This world falls on me  
In this world there's real and make believe  
And this seems real to me_

_You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
You love me but you don't know who I am  
So let me go  
Just Let me go...  
Let me go_

_And no matter how hard I try  
I can't escape these things inside I know  
I knowww..  
When all the pieces fall apart  
You will be the only one who knows  
Who knows_

_You love me but you don't know who I am  
I'm torn between this life I lead and where I stand  
And you love me but you don't know Who I am  
So let me go  
Just let me go_

_And you love me but you don't  
You love me but you don't  
You love me but you don't know who I am  
And you love me but you don't  
You love me but you don't  
You love me but you don't know me_

SarahNicole: Bee! Bee, wait!

Barricade: Infernal Pontiac.

Jazz: Take that demon cop car!

*Game flashes 'Winner Jazz!'*

Barricade: Slag it, come here Cami. *Makes out*

Haley: Dear Lord, the next dare is from **13IsTaLkThEaKaTsUkI13**

**Hehehe. Okay, first I gotta say I'm still liking your story. Second I've got some dares...**

**1. I dare Ratchet to re-wire Prowl so he thinks he's Captin Jack Sparrow everytime Captin Jack plays**

**2. I dare Jazz to play 'Captin Jack' everytime Megatron gripes about his name**

**3. I dare Megageek to run while carry Optimistic Dime on his back for three thousand miles, with no pitstops or breaks and he can't go side to side or backwards, he's got to run forwards even if it means running on the bottom of the ocean.**

**4. I dare Sam to write a Megageek/Star's cream/Optimistic Dime threesome and then post it on fanfiction**

**5. I dare Ironhide to steal Starscream's wings and use them to fly to Dunkin Doughnuts (M Doughnuts)and get me a cappicino.**

**6. I dare Ratchet to throw the toasters into a trash compactor.**

**7. I dare Sides and Sunny to paint the Decepticon base Sunshine yellow and hot pink.**

**8 Last I dare Megatron to be a gay stripper for a week.**

Captain Jack: Ahoy there! Oi, where's me rum?

Megys: It's not Megys!

Jazz: *Plays the Pirates theme* This is great.

Ironhide: *Flys in* I am so keeping these. Okay, who had Maple iced glazed?

Haley: That was me! Oh look, the next dare was wrapped around it. It's from **TransformersFreak01**

***grins evilly*  
Boy do I have a load of dares for you guys.**

**I dare Optimus to sit in a room with nothing but fan-girls.**

**I dare Megatron to have to be nice to any human he wants to choose for A WHOLE DAY.**

**I dare Sides and Sunny to bond with Ratchet.**

**I dare Bumblebee to hang out with Barricade.**

**I dare Ironhide to make out with Starscream... *grins***

**And lastly... I dare Prowl to admit to Jazz that he has always been in love with him...**

**Ain't I cool?**

**LOL**

Optimus: Now, there will be no fighting, killing or maiming each other. Am I understood?

Fangirls: Yes master.

Optimus: You will go and destroy the Decepticons. Right?

Fangirls: Yes oh mightly lord Optimus.

Megatron: Okay, um, Haley. Please get me out of here?

Haley: I don't know, will you quit beinging such a buthead to me?

Megatron: *Crossing finger and watching as Fangirl mob draws closer* Yes, yes please!

Haley: Fine. *Places anti-fangirl shoeld around the two of them*

Megatron: Thank you... thank you soooooo much.

Haley: Just read the next dare.

Megatron: It's from **Lady Twilight Prime****  
2009-09-18 . chapter 4 **

**This is gonna be sweet...**

**I dare Megafart to wear a frilly pink tutu for the whole episode... or until someone's optics starts bleeding, whatever comes first.**

**i dare Barricade to drive into a brick wall(like when a car is crash tested)and shout "I SUCK AT DRIVING!! WHERE'S CANADA!?"**

**i dare Ironhide and Ratchet to sing the song 'Barbie is a **'**

**I dare Bumblebee and Arcee to do the Tango on Starscream's back**

**I dare Starscream to shoot himself in the foot**

**I dare the autobots and decepticons to use Megabutt's head in a game of soccer**

**I dare every mech and femme to play strip poker**

**and I dare Optimus to do something completely random and crazy**

**That's all for now, remember, throw peanuts at your neighbors, yell at mice with your pants on your head, smash fruit with a golf club, and shave a hamster.**

Barricade: Humans and causing us pain, I will never get it. *Slams into wall* I SUCK AT DRIVING! WHERE'S CANADA?

Starscream: OW! OWOWOWOW! That hurts you know!

Bee: *On Screamer's back* Shut up whimp.

Ironhide: GOAL!!

Haley: Alright, alright. Hold the craziness folks we have more dares here. The next one is from **goautobots217**

**I dare optimus to let ironhide crush galloway.  
I dare the twinns to kiss ironhide.  
I dare wheeljack to blow himself up.  
I dare optimus to rip megatron's head off.  
I dare ratchet to never hit another autobot with a wrench.**

Optimus: Gladly! *Rips Megy's head off*

Ironhide: Please let me kill that annoying little twerp.

Optimus: Oh, what? Yeah sure go right ahead. *Preoccuied playing with Megatron's head*

Ironhide: Yes! *Shoots Galloway's car, with him inside it*

Bee: AW! He got to do it but I didn't, that's not fair!

Haley: Bee you're such a wuss. The next dare is from **Shadow Midna**

**I dare Optimus to jack slap Megatron xD and for Starscream not to look at Megatron! XD MWHAHAHA! I'm so evil!**

Optimus: YAY! *Slaps Megatron so hard his head spins around ten times*

Starscream: Wait! Wait where's Megy? *Optics have been removed from his face*

Haley: Dear God, this is reminding me of Oedipus.

Ironhide: Oedipus?

Haley: Yeah, he killed his father, married his mother and had four kids with her.

Ratchet: That's just wrong!

Haley: Yep, Greek Tragedy is so pleasent. The next dare is from **garnettfox****  
**

**aw i didnt tare apart mega...im out of insults... LETS CALL HIM BOB or frank or somat  
can i haz jazz ? jk but can jazz be here  
and bee HAVE YOU SEEN HOW MANY TIMES YOUR PAIRED WITH SAM or hide with will for that matter  
anyway i dare bob to be in a room of stark raving TF mad gay guys for... a week or somat...let the bots choose**

Frank: I prefer Megsy.

Everyone: SHUT UP BOB!!!!

Bee: Why does everyone think I'm gay? I just like bright colors and romantic music...

Haley: *Eye twitch*

Optimus: Come on brother, it's just for a little bit.

Bob: NO! NO WAY! HALEY WRITE ME OUT OF HERE!!

Haley: SHUT UP FRANK!

Frank: It's not Frank! *Gets shoved through door and it gets locked*

Optimus: Readers, please pray for Bob. He seems to be in denial. The next dare is from **Kitleah**

**EPIC WIN. Luv it and defenitley continue!**

**Okay, two dares.  
1. Have Skids and Mudflap be the pink and purple unicorns from Charlie The Unicorn and Ratchet become Charlie.  
(NOTHING against Ratchet.) Act out the first part of the first video.**

**2. Have the all the Transformers meet Chuck Norris.**

**Keep up the great work!**

Skids: Come on Charlie!

Mudflap: Yeah! Get up!

Ratchet: I.... will.... kill the both of you. *Tackles them to the ground and begins beating the slag out of them*

Chuck Norris: There's no way they're tougher than me.

Ironhide: Yeah, watch this. *Smushes Chuck Norris*

Haley: YES! I someone is tough than Chick Norris! The next dare is from **Bumblebeezgirl**

**HEHEHEHEHE VERY FUNNY SERIES XD Hm Dares...I dare Megatron to hump starscreams leg xD I dare Optimus to rap the song called the stinky leg by GS BOYZ umm another one is having Bee make out wit mika and sam not knowing its a dare xD I LOVE YOU BE! oh and have bees holoform hump my leg THANKS! Have Chromia sing No Parade by Jordin Sparks  
I GOTZ TO GO B4 MEGZZY WANTS TO KIL MME *transforms and flies away* yah im a transformer so what**

Starscream: Just what I've always dreamed of... *Head blows up*

Bee: *In lip lock with Mikaela*

Sam: NOT AGAIN! YOU CHEATER, AND WITH MY CAR NO LESS!!!!

Mikalea: NO! Sam, I swear I'm not cheating on you!

Haley: *Laughing hard enough to cry* That gets better everytime. The next dare is from **Jinxed Fox****  
**

**XD! Oh gawd, this has got to be the funniest, if not THE funniest thing mine eyes have ever laid eyes on! Love it! Hey, I have a dare or two...maybe three.**

**1.) I dare Screamer, Megsie, Hatchet and Prowlie to dress up in 70's styles outfits with go-go boots doing the Caramelldansen.**

**2.) I dare Arcee, Chromia, and Elita 1 to enter a wet t-shirt contest.**

**3.) I dare Ironhide to paint Sunny a florescent pink with bright blue racing stripes.**

Prowl: Why do they torture me? *In silky shirts along with everyone else*

Megsy: YES! I'm not Bob anymore.

Starscream: Hey Frank, nice to see you again.

Megatron: IT"S NOT FRANK EITHER!

Sunny: I kind of like this new paint job.

Haley: *High Fives Ironhide*

Optimus: That is so disturbing, the next dare is from **Topkicker26**

**Oh wow...  
Miranda (my character): *stands up* YO HIDE! WHAZ UP!?!??!?!  
*pushes her away* Get outta here...**

**Okay I dare Hide to dress up in the pinkest tutu he can find and start dancing around, saying, "I'M A LITTLE GIRL! I LIKE MY LITTLE PONIES AND BARBIES!**

**And the Twins... wonderful twins... MAKE OUT with Megsy! *grins***

**Miranda: TAKE THAT YOU AHOLE! THAT'S FOR THE BUNNY!**

***pushes her again* Where do you come from?**

Ironhide: But she's my fangirl! She shouldn't want to see me ridiculed!

Haley: Are you kidding? I'm your fangirl and I'm the one putting you in the tutu!

Ironhide: You all will burn before the day is out. *Twirls* I'M A LITTLE GIRL! I LIKE MY LITTLE PONIES AND BARBIES!

Haley: AHAHAHAHA! Nice one Topkicker.

Twins: *Taking turnes making out with Megsy*

Haley: MY EYES!!! *Falls to floor blocking eyes*

Starscream: What bunny?

Barricade: Who know? The next dare is from **Kayla Hedgecat**

**Okay, i think im gonna start out with...megafat!  
Dare 1: ok...Megafat, i dare you to sing hannah montana songs and wear a tu tu thingy! mwahaha!  
Dare 2: I dare Sam ans Mikeala (how ever you spell her name)to make out with every Autobot and Decepticon!  
(anyway...Very good and very funny dares! continue please!)**

Megafat: Well, it's a step up from Bob.

Haley: I prefer Frank.

Megastupid: Hey you ignorant little-

Haley: SING!

Megamontana: Grr.

_Oh yeah  
Come on_

_You get the limo out front  
Hottest styles, every shoe, every color_

_Yeah, when you're famous it can be kinda fun  
It's really you but no one ever discovers_

_In some ways you're just like all your friends  
But on stage you're a star_

_You get the best of both worlds  
Chill it out, take it slow  
Then you rock out the show_

_You get the best of both worlds  
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both worlds_

_The best of both worlds_

_You go to movie premiers (is that Orlando Bloom?)  
Hear your songs on the radio  
Livin' two lives is a little weird (yeah)  
But school's cool cuz nobody knows_

_Yeah you get to be a small town girl  
But big time when you play your guitar_

_You get the best of both worlds  
Chillin' out take it slow  
Then you rock out the show_

_You get the best of both worlds  
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best of both  
(You know the best) You know the best of both worlds_

_Pictures and autographs  
You get your face in all the magazines  
The best parts that you get to be who ever you wanna be_

_Yeah the best of both  
You get the best of both  
Come on best of both_

_Who would of thought that a girl like me  
Would double as a superstar_

_You get the best of both worlds  
Chillin' out, take it slow  
Then you rock out the show_

_You get the best of both worlds  
Mix it all together and you know that it's the best,_

_You get the best of both worlds  
Without the shades and the hair  
You can go anywhere_

_You get the best of both girls  
Mix it all together  
Oh yeah  
It's so much better cuz you know you've got the best of both worlds_

Haley: Make the demon song stop!

Sam: *Kisses Megatron to make him stop*

Haley: NO! That's worse! *Runs to hide behind Optimus*

Optimus: Close your eyes! Perhaps the next dare will stop them, it's from **sasuko.r**

**I have one hell of a dare for ya.**

**And I really hope that you put it on your next chapter. I personally think that all the robots should have interface units.**

**Anyway on to the dares.**

**1: I dare Megatron, not to use the waste extraction unit for three whole weeks and then embarrass himself in front of all the 'bots.**

**2: I dare Hayley to 'touch' Optimus.**

**3: I dare Ironhide to run around without his codpiece on for three hours (no hiding 'hide)**

**Haley: *Screams and runs away***

**Megatron: PLEASE LET ME USE THE BATHROOM!**

**Starscream: Ironhide, dude! Cover it up!**

**Haley: *In straight jacket, far far away from the chaos of the dares* So, so wrong. Let's see, the next dare has to be around here somewhere. Ah! It's here. It's from Bookworm310**

**LOL!! I LOVE THIS FIC!!**

**So I have some dares... MWA HA HA HA!! (lightning strikes in the background and spooky music plays)**

**1. I dare all the autobots and decepticreeps have to treat the humans (Sam and Will specifically) as pets for the rest of the story without the humans knowing it's a dare (ah... i can hear the baby talk already...[grins] AND NO WHEEDLING OUT EITHER!!**

**2. I dare Freakatron (everyone always changes the 'tron'part of his name not the 'mega' so i thought i'd be original) and the other decepticreeps (except Barricade, i love you 'Cade!)to be the autobots personal slaves for a week, so they autobots can do whatever they want with them...(kinky...snicker snicker)**

**Have fun with the dares [evil cackle] MWAHAHAHA!**

**Optimus: Oh, come here little fella. Aw, ain't he cute? *Holds Sam up***

**Sam: Dude, what happened to your voice?**

**Ratchet: Freakatron, where's my margarita?**

**FreakyFrank: Here you are sir.**

**Haley: It's over right?**

**Optimus: Yes, who's a good girl, huh? Who's my good girl?**

**Haley: *Steps away from him* Uh, okay. The next dare is from Prophet-of-worlds**

**God I forgot to review I'm sorry and Megalame how was the night club? *laughs evily* Anywho here is my dare for all of you. Remember when I said you have to take music lessons? Well...l3 I dare you all to perform the Sound of Music! Mwahhahahaha! Ironhide's Mechanic you can decide the roles please please I beg you no MEch-human or yaoi please!**

**Hehe oh yes and tape this for me please have fun everyone!**

Haley: This is awesome. Let's see, Optimus you'll be the male lead, Chromia the female one and Megy you'll be one of the nuns.

Megy: I hate you.

Haley: *Shoves all Transformers out* Go! Go pratcice!

Sam: Let's just keep doing the dares while they're gone.

Haley: Sounds good to me! The next dare is from **(blank)**

**...sorry blacked out for a second there speaking of blackout me thinks a dare is in order to...declare hie undieing love for ironhide hahahahahaha plz note:must be done with many roses and a love sonnet of authors choice...i'm feeling nice so i dare Megatwit to annihilate optimus.P. by beating him with sams mums bat ... finally skids and mudflap can take control of the autobot forces...stares blankly ...gone...**

Blackout: Irinihde I've always loved you.

Haley: *Tackles Blackout to the ground an begins to beat the crap out of him* He's mine! Back off!

Blackout: *Missing an arm, leg and half of his face* AHHHH! CRAZY HUMAN!

Haley: *Growls*

Megawit: YES! I finally get to kill him. *Whacks Optimus repeatedly with bat*

Haley: You fragging son of a glitch.

Frank: YOU have no control over me now! IT"S NOT FRANK!

Haley: *Revives Optimus* The last dare is from **FoxFirecard**

**I have a some new dares for you!**

**1)Meg-Meg(Love his nicknames) has to learn the numa numa song(english or other wise on an endless loop until he learns the words and sing it infront of everyone and he has to dance to it!**

**And 2) Sam has to learn the words to Bumblebee by Smile DK and sing it to BumbleBee.**

**That's all for now. Buh-bye! =^-^=**

Megsy: Oh! I already know this one.

_Ma-ia-hii  
Ma-ia-huu  
Ma-ia-hoo  
Ma-ia-haha  
Ma-ia-hii  
Ma-ia-huu  
Ma-ia-hoo  
Ma-ia-haha  
Ma-ia-hii  
Ma-ia-huu  
Ma-ia-hoo  
Ma-ia-haha  
Ma-ia-hii  
Ma-ia-huu  
Ma-ia-hoo  
Ma-ia-haha  
Alo, Salut, sunt eu, un haiduc,  
Si te rog, iubirea mea, primeste fericirea.  
Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,  
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,  
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.  
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,  
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.  
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,  
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.  
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,  
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.  
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,  
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.  
Te sun, sa-ti spun, ce simt acum,  
Alo, iubirea mea, sunt eu, fericirea.  
Alo, alo, sunt iarasi eu, Picasso,  
Ti-am dat beep, si sunt voinic,  
Dar sa stii nu-ti cer nimic.  
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,  
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.  
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,  
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.  
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,  
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.  
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,  
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai.  
Ma-ia-hii  
Ma-ia-huu  
Ma-ia-hoo  
Ma-ia-haha  
Ma-ia-hii  
Ma-ia-huu  
Ma-ia-hoo  
Ma-ia-haha  
Ma-ia-hii  
Ma-ia-huu  
Ma-ia-hoo  
Ma-ia-haha  
Ma-ia-hii  
Vrei sa pleci dar nu ma, nu ma iei,  
Nu ma, nu ma iei, nu ma, nu ma, nu ma iei.  
Chipul tau si dragostea din tei,  
Mi-amintesc de ochii tai._

Haley: Priceless, absolutly priceless. Your turn Sam.

Sam: Damn author.

_Sweet little bumblebee, I know what you want from me  
Doodoodoodoodoodada  
Sweet little bumblebee more than just a fantasy  
Doodoodoodoodoodada_

_My heart skips a beat when you walk in the room  
I go boom, boom, boom  
You go zoom, zoom, zoom  
You're my playboy, playtoy  
Love, and my friend  
I wanna be with you until the end_

_I give my heart and soul to you, to make you see it's true  
I'm so confused, baby can't you see  
Please come rescue me_

_Sweet little bumblebee, I know what you want from me,  
Doodoodoodoodoodada  
Sweet little bumblebee, more than just a fantasy,  
Doodoodoodoodoodada_

_I start to cry when you walk out the door  
You go bye, bye, bye  
I go why, why, why?  
I'm so lonely, yeah lonely waitin' for you  
To come back and tell me, "I love you"_

_I give my heart and my soul to you, to make you see it's true  
I'm so confused, baby can't you see  
Please come rescue me_

_Sweet little bumblebee, I know what you want from me  
Doodoodoodoodoodada  
Sweet little bumblebee, more than just a fantasy  
Doodoodoodoodoodada_

_Ooooooooh, Doodoodoodoodoodada  
Ooooooooh, Doodoodoodoodoodada_

_Sweet little bumblebee, I know what you want from me  
Doodoodoodoodoodada  
Sweet little bumblebee, more than just a fantasy  
Doodoodoodoodoodada_

_Ooooooooh, Doodoodoodoodoodada  
Ooooooooh, Doodoodoodoodoodada  
_

Haley: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! LOOK AT SAMMY AND HIS BOYFRIEND!

Megatron: *Implodes from laughter*

Optimus: If you readers want more of this insanity, review!_

* * *

_

**Hey guys, sorry for the late update. Life got a little busy.**


	6. WARNING!

**I have recently recieved an influx of sexually explicit dares for this latest chapter. I WILL NOT be putting these in the story. This is a story about all the zany things that could go on, not the sexual escapes of the Autobots and the Decepticons. Some sexuality is good, but these recent dares have gone over the line. I will leave them up, I just will not put them into the story. If this continues and the reviews are signed I will be sending some angry PM's. **

**I am sorry that this has interuputed my work on the new chapter, much of stuff that I have recieved with in the past three days has just been suited more for an M story, rather than a T. Once again, I apologize that some individuals have had no sense of decorum at all and have caused me to do this.**


End file.
